Dancer Ni Cawan recalls her golden days of the 1930s

By Intan Petersen

DENPASAR (JP): The eerie tones of the gamelan and the echo from a nearby temple ceremony filled the air. Tonight was a full moon and the old dancer, Ni Cawan, sat quietly at home. She imagined the dancers moving and twisting their bodies to the sounds of the gamelan.

"I am jealous," she hissed, with tears in her eyes. "I always feel sad whenever I hear the gamelan. It is not easy to be an ex- dancer, I cannot sleep when I hear that sound."

For more than 50 years she had devoted her life to dancing. She is still obsessed with it, but today, at the age of 73, Ni Cawan can hardly move her hands or the slim fingers which were once recognized by many. Rheumatism has limited her movement.

Cawan was one of the first three Balinese dancers to receive a talent award from the late president Sukarno. She is the only one of the three who is still alive. Her dancing partner, Ni Sadri, has passed away, as has the legendary kebyar duduk dancer, I Mario of Tabanan.

Cawan's name is always mentioned when one talks about Bali during the 1930s. Bali was widely recognized as an artist's Mecca at that time, when western painters and Balinese dancers mixed in the same circles.

In the 1930s, Cawan was a beautiful young dancer and a favorite model for many of the western painters who lived on the island. They included William Hofker, Emilio Ambron and, slightly earlier, Walter Spies, all of whom popularized Bali with the international art world.

Other painters living on the island at that time were Romualdo Locatelli from Italy, Theo Meier from Switzerland, Roland Strasser from Austria, and Le Mayeur, a Belgian painter who married the beautiful Balinese dancer, Ni Polok. All of them spread Bali's fame through their paintings, which now bring handsome prices at auction.

Cawan lives in a cool, spacious old Balinese house in the center of Denpasar. The shrieking laughter of her grandchildren and the babble of an unwatched television fill the house. Barefoot and wearing an old simple kebaya, Cawan sat at the terrace and began to tell me her story.

"It all started with the opening of the Bali Hotel in 1928, the first hotel in Bali. It was then that dancing became a regular attraction for tourists," she said.

Dancing led her to fame and brought her to the attention of Hofker and the other painters.

"It was a tiring job (modeling). Sometimes it took them two weeks to finish one painting, for which I was paid 15 rupiah," she said, referring to a time when 15 rupiah was considered a lot of money.

Like all Balinese dancers, Cawan started dancing at temple ceremonies. She was believed to possess taksu, a form of supernatural attraction that pertains more to inspiration from the gods than earthly knowledge. Balinese dance is regarded as an offering to the gods and also as entertainment for the people.

"Me and my dancing partner, Ni Sadri, were purified during a mewinten mejayajaya ceremony before we formally became dancing partners. The pedanda (Balinese priest) prayed for us in the ceremony and made offerings. At that time I was 13 years old, a little girl," she said with a smile.

Both Cawan and Ni Sadri were the stars of the Kedaton Dance Group, then the best legong dance group in Bali. Both dancers helped spread the fame of Balinese dance through their performances -- sponsored by the Royal Dutch Packetboat Company, Bali's first tourism agency -- every Saturday night at the Bali Hotel.

When talking about Sadri, Cawan's eyes dimmed.

"Sadri has passed away" she said. "We were amazingly close to each other. We had a relationship that most people could never have. It is not just an assumption of ego on my part. I knew her verbal thoughts, her silent thoughts. There were a lot of things going on between us that were silent: it was dance, it was the sound of the gamelan, it was destiny.

"Sadri lived in the North Village and I lived in the South Village," she said. "We were very close, closer than sisters."

According to one of Cawan's students, Arini, Cawan was once frustrated because Sadri stopped dancing after she got married.

"Sadri married when she was 16 years old, and then she stopped dancing completely. That frustrated Cawan because she did not have a partner anymore," said Arini, who now owns a dance school in Denpasar.

That is when Cawan began performing the solo Panji Semirang dance, recalled Arini.

"Her performances were marvelous and she became famous. She continued to perform the dance, even after she had three children," Arini continued.

But few knew of Cawan's frustrations about losing a partner. This, said Arini, was not told in the paintings for which she modeled.

One of Hofker's paintings with Cawan as model fetched US$550,000 at a Christie's Singapore auction last April.

"Yes, I know that" she said. "But I have no paintings of myself. I realize that regret is to no avail, but I don't even have enough money to go to the hospital, while a painting with me as the model has been auctioned for $550,000.

"Even though I am very poor, I have made the best I can in my life. Now I am ready if Ida Hyang Widhi (God) calls me."

She sighed. Her eyes looked slightly hazy behind her glasses, but she still radiated dignity. In the distance, the eerie sound of the gamelan echoed from a temple village festival. Suddenly, Cawan's eyes closed shut, she must be tired.