Cycle of Violence in Relationships Can Entrap Victims
Clinical psychologist Gisella Tani Pratiwi, M.Psi, states that there is a continuous cycle of violence in relationships that victims experience.
According to her, abusive relationships can occur between perpetrators and their victims, usually partners, whether in dating, marriage, or other forms of romantic attachment.
“They are in a state of deep distress, meaning they are caught in what is known as a cycle of violence that keeps spinning,” said Gisella when contacted by ANTARA in Jakarta on Wednesday.
The University of Indonesia graduate explained that this cycle begins with a romantic phase. In this phase, the relationship appears like a typical romantic bond, although there are often early signs such as extreme attentiveness, excessive protection, or unusual methods of initial contact.
“So, there are good periods; generally, it looks ‘oh, this seems romantic’. But then, as problems inevitably arise in a relationship, the next stage is the emergence of violence,” Gisella added.
She noted that after committing acts of violence, there is a stage where the perpetrator will apologise, admit to a mistake, and promise not to repeat the behaviour, before entering the romantic phase once again.
This condition continues to rotate, leading victims to feel a sense of hope, even though the situation is often characterised by terror or the fear that the violence will recur because of this cycle.
As this cycle continues to rotate, she continued, the forms of violence become more intense, eventually reaching a point where there is no longer a romantic phase, no apologies, and no perpetrator awareness, leaving only violence.
“The reason is often that the responsibility lies with the perpetrator rather than the victim. This is because, by characteristic, the victim is weakened both structurally and psychologically within the relationship with the perpetrator, trapping them in a circle of violence that leaves them increasingly distressed and powerless,” she said.
Gisella added that victims may remain in the relationship, despite the presence of extreme violence, because they are caught in a cycle of abuse that may already place them in very real danger. Consequently, the more a victim attempts to resist or defend themselves, the more likely the perpetrator is to become increasingly aggressive.
Furthermore, financial control by the perpetrator is one of the factors that causes victims to stay. This condition leads to frustration and makes it difficult for victims to end the relationship.
Additionally, the aspect of isolation often employed by perpetrators prevents victims from having social relationships or accessing services and the public; for example, they may be forbidden from meeting others or may have their connections to friends and even family severed, leaving them with no one but the perpetrator.
“The perpetrator may also use threats or highly manipulative tactics so that the victim feels they no longer have self-esteem, leading them to believe they are at fault, which the perpetrator uses as a justification for violence. These tactics are frequently used by perpetrators to make victims feel powerless,” said the Jakarta-based psychologist.