Custom has its place in Sikka from cradle to grave

By Yakob J. Herin

MAUMERE, Nusa Tenggara (JP): For centuries the inhabitants of Sikka, a village 45 kilometers south of Maumere, have strongly adhered to custom.

Violators are fined either in gold, money or cattle like a buffalo, horse, swine or goat.

Rituals are organized on a grand scale at the time of a birth, a marriage or a funeral.

A young woman giving birth must be in the company of her mother, her mother-in-law and a midwife, whose presence is required to cut the umbilical cord. After the birth, the new mother is prohibited from leaving the room for one week.

The mother needs a close relative to help her massage her breasts, ensuring a smooth flow of milk for the newborn.

One week after birth, a kelang mitan is held, which is placing coal dust on the baby's forehead.

According to local custom leader Mandalangi Parera, this is to ward off evil spirits wanting to attack the baby and its mother.

Only then can the mother and child get some fresh air. They stand in front of the house to chase away ill winds.

The mother then scatters the rest of the coal dust in neighboring streets; this guarantees that when the baby is grown up, it will never get lost, either in the village or in other places.

On the seventh day, a ceremony is held to compensate the midwife. The midwife is seated on a low platform surrounded by women and relatives.

The new mother's mother-in-law presents a set of gifts to the midwife: One sarong, one shirt, Rp 10,000, one bag of rice, one pork leg, one bottle of white wine and a bottle of arak (distilled white wine).

When the midwife leaves she is accompanied by a number of people, who ask her to return when her help is needed.

Name

A few weeks later, relatives of the new father hold a ceremony to name the child. The name is taken from a deceased relative on the father's side. Because the name will represent the ethnic group of the family, all family members of the baby's father must attend.

When the child is nine months old, its hair is cut in another ritual. This is the privilege of an aunt. The hair is then discarded into the fissures of a banana tree; this way, the child's hair and head will always remain cool.

In compensation for his presence, the uncle receives a piece of ivory, in accordance with the capacity of the parents, said another custom leader, Edmundus Parera.

Girls are subjected to teeth filing, aimed for evenness and beauty, when they reach adolescents.

When youngsters fall in love and wish to get married, the approval of parents and extended families is a must.

In the old days, when a man wanted to ask for a woman's hand in marriage, he would declare his love through an aunt, who would go to the girl's mother with some fruit.

If the girl, through her mother, agreed, a day would be fixed for the marriage proposal. This is followed by a consensus that the girl could visit the boy's house in seven days.

Discussions follow on the amount of the dowry, and this is heavily determined by the social status of the families involved.

In Sikka, the inhabitants are divided into four groups: the royal nobility, the middle nobility, the common people and workers and servants.

The dowry given to the parents-in-law consists generally of one piece to three pieces of ivory, one sack of rice of 50 kgs to 100 kgs, one or two pigs, one jar of distilled white wine, several sarongs and a number of shop-brought dresses.

According to locals, the origins of dowry giving in Sikka was first known in the 17th century, when the village was governed by a queen named Du'a Dona Maria.

She was the third monarch in Sikka. A woman was chosen because people found there were many pregnancies out of wedlock, as men and women, including those already married, freely courted. This resulted in fights and killings.

One day, Queen Dona Maria assembled all Sikka citizens. She then determined the dowry that remains the custom until today; gold, ivory, cattle and an amount of money reflected her teachings that women should receive equal treatment to men.

According to Parera, a dowry has four purposes: to protect a woman's dignity; to motivate the prospective bridegroom to work harder to provide for his wife and children; to maintain the sacred and noble values of married life; and to strengthen family ties and to promote the system of familial relationship and cooperative spirit in the community.

If a family head dies, custom rules which family members do certain tasks. The wife of the deceased is the one with the right to invite the relatives.

Male relatives who have participated in the procedure of the burial are then given some cattle, distilled white wine and rice.

The gathering of relatives continues to the 40th day after death. A joint prayer is then held, followed by a dinner. Then some fun is allowed -- relatives play card games until morning.

Relatives are obliged to wear black for a year. This custom still lives on in the village. However in Maumere, the provincial capital, ritual ceremonies have, for the greater part, disappeared in line with developments in the world. Marriage and funeral ceremonies still take place.