Custom has its place in Sikka from cradle to grave
Custom has its place in Sikka from cradle to grave
By Yakob J. Herin
MAUMERE, Nusa Tenggara (JP): For centuries the inhabitants of
Sikka, a village 45 kilometers south of Maumere, have strongly
adhered to custom.
Violators are fined either in gold, money or cattle like a
buffalo, horse, swine or goat.
Rituals are organized on a grand scale at the time of a birth,
a marriage or a funeral.
A young woman giving birth must be in the company of her
mother, her mother-in-law and a midwife, whose presence is
required to cut the umbilical cord. After the birth, the new
mother is prohibited from leaving the room for one week.
The mother needs a close relative to help her massage her
breasts, ensuring a smooth flow of milk for the newborn.
One week after birth, a kelang mitan is held, which is placing
coal dust on the baby's forehead.
According to local custom leader Mandalangi Parera, this is to
ward off evil spirits wanting to attack the baby and its mother.
Only then can the mother and child get some fresh air. They
stand in front of the house to chase away ill winds.
The mother then scatters the rest of the coal dust in
neighboring streets; this guarantees that when the baby is grown
up, it will never get lost, either in the village or in other
places.
On the seventh day, a ceremony is held to compensate the
midwife. The midwife is seated on a low platform surrounded by
women and relatives.
The new mother's mother-in-law presents a set of gifts to the
midwife: One sarong, one shirt, Rp 10,000, one bag of rice, one
pork leg, one bottle of white wine and a bottle of arak
(distilled white wine).
When the midwife leaves she is accompanied by a number of
people, who ask her to return when her help is needed.
Name
A few weeks later, relatives of the new father hold a ceremony
to name the child. The name is taken from a deceased relative on
the father's side. Because the name will represent the ethnic
group of the family, all family members of the baby's father must
attend.
When the child is nine months old, its hair is cut in another
ritual. This is the privilege of an aunt. The hair is then
discarded into the fissures of a banana tree; this way, the
child's hair and head will always remain cool.
In compensation for his presence, the uncle receives a piece
of ivory, in accordance with the capacity of the parents, said
another custom leader, Edmundus Parera.
Girls are subjected to teeth filing, aimed for evenness and
beauty, when they reach adolescents.
When youngsters fall in love and wish to get married, the
approval of parents and extended families is a must.
In the old days, when a man wanted to ask for a woman's hand
in marriage, he would declare his love through an aunt, who would
go to the girl's mother with some fruit.
If the girl, through her mother, agreed, a day would be fixed
for the marriage proposal. This is followed by a consensus that
the girl could visit the boy's house in seven days.
Discussions follow on the amount of the dowry, and this is
heavily determined by the social status of the families involved.
In Sikka, the inhabitants are divided into four groups: the
royal nobility, the middle nobility, the common people and
workers and servants.
The dowry given to the parents-in-law consists generally of
one piece to three pieces of ivory, one sack of rice of 50 kgs to
100 kgs, one or two pigs, one jar of distilled white wine,
several sarongs and a number of shop-brought dresses.
According to locals, the origins of dowry giving in Sikka was
first known in the 17th century, when the village was governed by
a queen named Du'a Dona Maria.
She was the third monarch in Sikka. A woman was chosen because
people found there were many pregnancies out of wedlock, as men
and women, including those already married, freely courted. This
resulted in fights and killings.
One day, Queen Dona Maria assembled all Sikka citizens. She
then determined the dowry that remains the custom until today;
gold, ivory, cattle and an amount of money reflected her
teachings that women should receive equal treatment to men.
According to Parera, a dowry has four purposes: to protect a
woman's dignity; to motivate the prospective bridegroom to work
harder to provide for his wife and children; to maintain the
sacred and noble values of married life; and to strengthen family
ties and to promote the system of familial relationship and
cooperative spirit in the community.
If a family head dies, custom rules which family members do
certain tasks. The wife of the deceased is the one with the right
to invite the relatives.
Male relatives who have participated in the procedure of the
burial are then given some cattle, distilled white wine and rice.
The gathering of relatives continues to the 40th day after
death. A joint prayer is then held, followed by a dinner. Then
some fun is allowed -- relatives play card games until morning.
Relatives are obliged to wear black for a year. This custom
still lives on in the village. However in Maumere, the provincial
capital, ritual ceremonies have, for the greater part,
disappeared in line with developments in the world. Marriage and
funeral ceremonies still take place.