Children need proper sex education

By Irene Sugiharto

JAKARTA (JP): In Indonesia, sex remains a sensitive topic of discussion for parents and their children. Sex education is still a taboo subject, and most children learn about sex from movies, magazines and their friends.

However, observing today's youth and some of their reckless behavior, it is obvious proper sex education is needed to implant in youth a healthier and more responsible attitude toward sex.

The Jakarta Post asked a number of parents and adolescents about the topic, and their opinions provide us insight into the extent to which the topic is discussed in our society.

Cecilia, a housewife and mother of four: When my children came to me and asked about sex, I was shocked at first. And then I realized that one day this subject would arise. I tried to explain it in the most biological way possible, with a religious point of view as well.

When one of my daughters became a teenager, she was more explicit in her questions. She asked, 'How far should a person go when in a relationship?' I told her a relationship should be like a close friendship; physical contact should be kept to a minimum because you don't know his true intentions.

I think my children started to become aware of sex between the age of 12 and 14. I would prefer sex education be taught at my children's school as early as junior high school or just before they reach that level. Sex education should be introduced to children before they are contaminated by modern society.

Eni, a housewife and mother of three: My daughter asked me about guys and I told her to be careful and smart with them. I saw that my daughter was not satisfied with this answer, so I said without thinking that our religion forbids us from acting foolishly. I was stunned by my stupidity.

I'd like my children to know about sex before they are 12 years old, and realize from an early age the implications of dangerous and foolish behavior.

Tono, a banker, father of three: We would prefer sex education start outside the home. It would be better if schools provided answers and explanations to our children to help them avoid any humiliation.

We have to give some sort of explanation to our children, however, when cornered, but in the most biological way possible, and pray they receive explicit information from a respectable and trustworthy source.

Mary, a consultant, housewife and mother of three: I hope that one day sex education will be taught regularly at schools from a very young age. I am frustrated with adolescents' unacceptable behavior in today's society, which is incongruent with our culture. It's sad to see that they have no limits.

Dini, mother of two: I think sex education should start at home so our children will have a closer and stronger relationship with us. This is a good way to build trust between us and our children.

Lita, 13, a student: I usually receive information relating to sex from magazines, novels, tabloids, friends and sometimes from VCDs. In relation to sex education, I don't think that schools should teach it and my parents definitely shouldn't teach it.

Adit, 14, a student: It would be too embarrassing for a parent to talk about such a topic with us. I'd want other resources to explain it me, preferably, someone older and close to me, who has had experience, or at least some form of experience, with it.

Doni, 16, a student: I'd prefer the school to have some sort of sex education program than have my parents, who I'm so close to, explain it to me.

I'd want the sex education to reflect reality and not be too theoretical. The education I have received so far has been very theoretical and boring.

Yanti, an elementary school teacher: There is no sex education program in our school, and as far as I know sex education is not available for elementary school students. In my experience, female students often come to me to discuss subjects related to their development, i.e., menstruation, boys, etc.

Those who usually have the guts to ask about these things are students who are older and who seem to have a different lifestyle than the other students.

The answers I tend to give are things like, 'you are now a young woman and should be careful in everything you do, especially relating to males. Don't be easily influenced or else you will regret your actions. Always be firm in what you believe.'

Nina, a teacher at a private junior high school: Our school has a sex education program. We believe it is a crucial program for students considering the fast pace of adolescents' lifestyles. This has become a regular program in our school and is now one of the lessons we teach.

We present it by inviting people from Aneka youth magazine and representatives from the Central Bishop's Office in Jakarta to come to our school to discuss the subject. These people usually give explanations and guidance through the use of slides and direct conversation.

Thank God that maybe because of this program, we have not had problems in relation to student's bad behavior, i.e., sex, unwanted pregnancies, drugs, etc.

We always try to guide students to socialize in a more positive way by saying that they should be careful in society and know the borders of normative behavior in accordance with our culture.

Sex education needs to be properly taught to our children from a young age, according to their mental development and the development of science and technology. With the appropriate guidance, we can hopefully replant moral values we feel have been lost.