Children need proper sex education

Children need proper sex education

By Irene Sugiharto

JAKARTA (JP): In Indonesia, sex remains a sensitive topic of
discussion for parents and their children. Sex education is still
a taboo subject, and most children learn about sex from movies,
magazines and their friends.

However, observing today's youth and some of their reckless
behavior, it is obvious proper sex education is needed to implant
in youth a healthier and more responsible attitude toward sex.

The Jakarta Post asked a number of parents and adolescents
about the topic, and their opinions provide us insight into the
extent to which the topic is discussed in our society.

Cecilia, a housewife and mother of four: When my children came
to me and asked about sex, I was shocked at first. And then I
realized that one day this subject would arise. I tried to
explain it in the most biological way possible, with a religious
point of view as well.

When one of my daughters became a teenager, she was more
explicit in her questions. She asked, 'How far should a person go
when in a relationship?' I told her a relationship should be like
a close friendship; physical contact should be kept to a minimum
because you don't know his true intentions.

I think my children started to become aware of sex between the
age of 12 and 14. I would prefer sex education be taught at my
children's school as early as junior high school or just before
they reach that level. Sex education should be introduced to
children before they are contaminated by modern society.

Eni, a housewife and mother of three: My daughter asked me
about guys and I told her to be careful and smart with them. I
saw that my daughter was not satisfied with this answer, so I
said without thinking that our religion forbids us from acting
foolishly. I was stunned by my stupidity.

I'd like my children to know about sex before they are 12
years old, and realize from an early age the implications of
dangerous and foolish behavior.

Tono, a banker, father of three: We would prefer sex education
start outside the home. It would be better if schools provided
answers and explanations to our children to help them avoid any
humiliation.

We have to give some sort of explanation to our children,
however, when cornered, but in the most biological way possible,
and pray they receive explicit information from a respectable and
trustworthy source.

Mary, a consultant, housewife and mother of three: I hope that
one day sex education will be taught regularly at schools from a
very young age. I am frustrated with adolescents' unacceptable
behavior in today's society, which is incongruent with our
culture. It's sad to see that they have no limits.

Dini, mother of two: I think sex education should start at
home so our children will have a closer and stronger relationship
with us. This is a good way to build trust between us and our
children.

Lita, 13, a student: I usually receive information relating to
sex from magazines, novels, tabloids, friends and sometimes from
VCDs. In relation to sex education, I don't think that schools
should teach it and my parents definitely shouldn't teach it.

Adit, 14, a student: It would be too embarrassing for a parent
to talk about such a topic with us. I'd want other resources to
explain it me, preferably, someone older and close to me, who has
had experience, or at least some form of experience, with it.

Doni, 16, a student: I'd prefer the school to have some sort
of sex education program than have my parents, who I'm so close
to, explain it to me.

I'd want the sex education to reflect reality and not be too
theoretical. The education I have received so far has been very
theoretical and boring.

Yanti, an elementary school teacher: There is no sex education
program in our school, and as far as I know sex education is not
available for elementary school students. In my experience,
female students often come to me to discuss subjects related to
their development, i.e., menstruation, boys, etc.

Those who usually have the guts to ask about these things are
students who are older and who seem to have a different lifestyle
than the other students.

The answers I tend to give are things like, 'you are now a
young woman and should be careful in everything you do,
especially relating to males. Don't be easily influenced or else
you will regret your actions. Always be firm in what you
believe.'

Nina, a teacher at a private junior high school: Our school
has a sex education program. We believe it is a crucial program
for students considering the fast pace of adolescents'
lifestyles. This has become a regular program in our school and
is now one of the lessons we teach.

We present it by inviting people from Aneka youth magazine and
representatives from the Central Bishop's Office in Jakarta to
come to our school to discuss the subject. These people usually
give explanations and guidance through the use of slides and
direct conversation.

Thank God that maybe because of this program, we have not had
problems in relation to student's bad behavior, i.e., sex,
unwanted pregnancies, drugs, etc.

We always try to guide students to socialize in a more
positive way by saying that they should be careful in society and
know the borders of normative behavior in accordance with our
culture.

Sex education needs to be properly taught to our children from
a young age, according to their mental development and the
development of science and technology. With the appropriate
guidance, we can hopefully replant moral values we feel have been
lost.