Balanced Trust and Protection Key in Children's Digital Supervision: Psychologist
Jakarta (ANTARA) - Clinical psychologist Alsi Mega Marsha Tengker, B.A., M.Sc., M.Psi., Psychologist, believes that parental supervision of children in the digital space requires a balance between trust and protection.
“When we talk about providing protection and trust, they need to be balanced. If a child already trusts us, whatever rules we set, they will just say ‘okay, Mum’,” said the psychologist, who is affectionately known as Caca, at the “#AKSIDigital: Indonesian Family Growing Space” event in Jakarta on Thursday.
Caca explained that trust from parents will build a child’s self-confidence. Initially, children borrow a sense of trust from their parents, which then grows into self-trust. Parents continue to protect and bear responsibility for what their children do.
The psychologist, who is part of the Indonesian Psychology Association (HIMPSI), also stated that the balance between protection and trust needs to be tailored to the child’s age. Very young children naturally require more supervision as they are not yet capable of making decisions independently. However, as the child grows, the portion of protection can be gradually reduced and replaced with greater trust.
Similarly, supervising children in the digital space helps make it easier for parents to protect them without diminishing their trust, such as through the availability of supervision features on Google and YouTube.
“That can become something to be used as a topic for discussion. To what extent does Mum want to know about what the child is looking at on the internet? The aim is for Mum to know, not because she doesn’t trust you, but because it is Mum’s responsibility. We each act according to our respective functions; one of a child’s functions is indeed to learn, including from their parents,” Caca added.
According to Caca, children tend not to obey rules if they lack trust in their parents. Trust, where both parties can be open with one another, needs to be built between children and parents. Protection without trust actually produces fear, making children become afraid.
“Trust without protection results in vulnerability; our children become vulnerable on the internet. That is also not something we want. That is why we need to maintain and study this balance further,” she said.
Caca also shared tips on healthy digital habits, behaviours practised by parents so they become automatic for children. She explained that the main goal to be achieved is the ability for self-regulation, where eventually children can regulate and know what they should view on the internet.
If this process runs well, parents can entrust their children with confidence, while children remain comfortable discussing things if they encounter something inappropriate for their age or the values being taught. In building healthy digital habits, Caca said, consistency is paramount. Parents do not need to demand perfect results or expect children to suddenly be able to handle trust.
“But it’s about how we build a habit at home, for example, how long we watch for. But the duration of watching is not the most important thing; the most important thing is for it to become a habit so they can self-regulate in the digital world,” Caca added.
Furthermore, Caca added that children need to understand the reasons behind the rules or decisions made by parents, highlighting the importance of openness and honesty. Although being honest with children may not always be easy, she stated, honesty can be practised until it becomes a habit.
“Honesty can become a habit; the important thing is that we are consistent. It doesn’t have to be perfect all at once, but we can be consistent in doing it every day — being honest with the child,” Caca concluded.