Arranging Wounds Through Books: Angga Wijaya's Story of Making Peace with Schizophrenia
Seventeen years ago, Angga Wijaya nearly lost everything. His thesis was just a step away from completion, his sanity was slowly being stolen by delusions, and his belief that life could go on was fading. Now, he has written about that experience in a book titled ‘Laki-laki yang Menata Lukanya di Rak Buku’ (The Man Who Arranged His Wounds on a Bookshelf).
Published by Brilliant Books in June 2026, this book serves as a memoir for Angga Wijaya. He wants to show that someone diagnosed with schizophrenia can still be productive, work, and live a meaningful life. “I tell a lot about my journey as a person with schizophrenia, from before I experienced the disorder to the recovery process,” Angga said in Denpasar on Sunday (5/7/2026).
Angga Wijaya has previously published several books of poetry and essays. However, the man from Jembrana admitted that the process of writing this memoir presented its own challenges. “The process of writing this memoir was quite emotionally draining because I had to recall the past. It didn’t make me cry, but it felt heavy and suffocating,” he added.
Angga’s journey began long before the word ‘schizophrenia’ was ever uttered by anyone around him. He started experiencing symptoms of a mental disorder while in his second year of senior high school. Depression crept in slowly, enough to lead him to a psychiatrist’s consultation room in Denpasar. But that was just the beginning.
In 2009, Angga was on the verge of completing his Anthropology studies at Udayana University. He only had two courses left to retake. However, at that point, his mind began to be flooded with delusions and irrational fears. Angga felt he was being chased by something invisible. In certain states, he even believed he was a holy person or the president. Based on a psychiatric examination, it was later discovered that these were symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterised by hallucinations and delusions. The condition alters how a person thinks, feels, and perceives reality, often causing them to live outside the bounds of reality. Medical science explains that this condition does not arise from a single cause. It is the result of a complex combination of factors: disruptions in brain function related to neurotransmitters like dopamine, as well as environmental influences such as childhood trauma or severe stress. According to Angga, genetic factors also played a role. “My eldest brother also experiences schizophrenia. From various literature I have read, genetic factors do have an influence, although they are not the sole cause,” he said.
When his first relapse occurred in 2009, Angga’s family did not delay. He was immediately taken to the Bali Provincial Mental Hospital in Bangli for two weeks of intensive care. The real challenge, however, began after he left the hospital. At that time, mental health issues were not openly discussed, and his family’s knowledge of mental disorders was minimal. Such conditions were often associated with non-medical causes. After leaving the hospital, Angga chose to return to his hometown in Jembrana. He temporarily halted all academic activities. The next five years, from 2009 to 2014, became the quietest period of his life as he tried to make peace with his condition.
“The key is acceptance. Many people experience denial when diagnosed with a mental disorder, even though schizophrenia makes a person live outside of reality,” Angga said. “It took me about five years to truly accept my condition.”
Behind the diagnosis lay a much older wound. Since childhood, Angga was raised by an adoptive family. In his subconscious, a feeling of being abandoned and unwanted by his biological family grew. According to the psychotherapy he underwent, this feeling was one of the triggers for his mental condition. Later, after returning to live with his biological family, Angga finally learned the real reasons behind that decision. This explanation slowly changed his perspective on the past. He learned one important lesson: making peace does not mean forgetting, but rather accepting reality without letting the wounds control the direction of his life.
Another turning point came from an unexpected place: a Facebook message. Through the platform, he met a woman from Jakarta who would become his source of encouragement to return to work. “She became a support system and a caregiver. For people with schizophrenia, environmental support is crucial. We need an inclusive environment, free from stigma and insults,” Angga said. This support became an important foundation for him to rise. One day, he found a job vacancy as an English teacher in Tejakula, Buleleng. He worked there for three months before returning to Jembrana. Shortly after, Angga saw a job opening for a journalist at a cultural tabloid in Denpasar. He applied and was accepted. Since 2015, Angga has been living in Denpasar and working as a journalist. The city that once held wounds for him has now become the place where he rebuilt his life.
In the same year, he also joined as one of the early members of Rumah Berdaya, a community that provides a safe space for mental health survivors. The community facilitates various activities, such as painting and gardening, as part of the recovery routine. There is another figure who, according to Angga, changed the direction of his life: a psychiatrist named I Gusti Rai Putra Wiguna. “He is not just a doctor, but also a friend who continuously supports my recovery process,” Angga said.
Writing became a form of catharsis for Angga. He channelled his anxiety, fear, and confusion into words. He believes that writing is a way to express what is difficult to convey verbally. For him, writing is also a means to prove that people with schizophrenia can still think clearly and produce meaningful work. Through his book, Angga hopes to inspire others with similar conditions to not give up and to keep fighting. He also hopes that society will become more open and stop giving negative stigma to people with mental disorders.