AI Has No Feelings, So Why Do We Feel Understood?

Imagine it is 1:17 a.m. There are many names in your WhatsApp contact list, but none feel easy to reach. Contacting a friend might disturb them. Telling family feels too complicated. Writing on social media is too public. Seeing a psychologist requires both money and a certain courage. In the end, someone opens an artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot and types a simple sentence: “I’m so tired. Can you just listen?” A few seconds later, a reply appears. There is no look of surprise. No sentence like, “You’re overthinking it.” No story cut short to be compared with someone else’s experience. No worry that the secret will become gossip. The AI responds calmly, then asks what you are really feeling. This situation might have sounded strange a few years ago. Now, it is becoming part of digital life. A Snapcart survey of 3,611 Indonesian respondents in April 2025 showed that 43 per cent frequently use AI in their daily lives and 41 per cent have used it occasionally. Usage was highest among Gen Z, aged 13 to 24, with 50 per cent of respondents in this group saying they use AI often. More interestingly, 6 per cent of all respondents use AI as a “friend” to talk to and share their feelings. Of this group that uses AI to confide in, 58 per cent have considered AI as a possible replacement for a psychologist. This 58 per cent figure must be read carefully. It does not mean 58 per cent of Indonesians want to replace psychologists with AI. The percentage only comes from the group of respondents who previously stated they use AI to talk and share feelings. Yet, it is precisely within this small group that a far more interesting question arises than simply how many people use AI. Why would someone feel more comfortable telling the most personal parts of their life to something that has no feelings at all? Humans do not always talk because they need a solution. Sometimes, a person already knows what to do. The problem is, they just want to be heard. There are days when advice feels exhausting. There are times when the phrase “try to be grateful” does not help. There are also situations when someone is not ready to receive a solution because they are still trying to understand what they are feeling. At such points, the presence of a party willing to listen without rushing to judge can feel more meaningful than even the smartest answer. This phenomenon was observed in qualitative research involving ten chatbot users aged 18 to 23 in Bandung. The participants did not view the chatbot merely as a source of information. They also used it as a personal assistant, a discussion partner, and a communication space that felt emotionally comfortable. The speed of response, flexibility, and the perception that the chatbot is non-judgemental led to repeated interactions, whether for academic matters, daily life, or personal issues. The participants still acknowledged concerns about privacy, dependency, and the inherently artificial nature of the AI’s empathy. These findings point to a certain irony. AI was created to process language, but some humans use it to process feelings. The issue may not be that AI has suddenly become “more human”. It could be that communication between humans feels increasingly difficult. An academic article specifically discussing the use of generative AI as a confidant for young people in Bandung highlights cultural factors such as sungkan and tidak enakan (reluctance and fear of imposing). A person may hold back from sharing because they worry about being a burden, fear being judged as weak, or do not want to trouble those closest to them. AI offers a space that feels more private, fast, and free from such social pressures. The statement “I feel uncomfortable telling them” sounds simple. Yet, it reveals a deep dilemma. A person has friends but is afraid of being a burden. They have family but do not necessarily feel safe opening up. They are connected to hundreds of people on social media but can still feel they have no place to talk about what is on their mind. AI steps right into this gap. It is available at two in the afternoon or two in the morning. It does not say it is busy. It does not show a bored expression. It does not interrupt to tell its own problems. It can even be asked, “Don’t give me solutions yet, just listen.” It is not surprising that this experience feels comfortable. Further data from Snapcart provides a clearer picture. Among respondents who considered AI as a replacement for a psychologist, 39 per cent cited the cost of a psychologist as the reason, while AI can be used for free. A total of 27 per cent believed AI is better at keeping secrets. Eleven per cent felt AI can help solve broader personal problems. Ten per cent felt AI is less judgemental, more neutral, and more understanding. It is important to understand one point carefully. When 27 per cent of respondents feel AI is better at keeping secrets, this reflects user perception, not objective proof that AI is more secure.