A new era in sports
As a daily reader of The Jakarta Post, as well as an avid sports fan, I have enjoyed the sports page feature which has appeared daily over the past two weeks highlighting different sports in which Indonesia will participate in for the upcoming SEA Games. These features have given me much insight into Indonesian badminton, football, basketball, boxing, tennis, table tennis, swimming, golf, shooting, athletics, track and field (including pole vaulting and discus throwing), bowling, water polo, traditional boat racing, field hockey, billiards and snooker, cycling, squash, karate, pencak silat, tae kwon do and sepak takraw.
It is also exciting to learn that the head of the Indonesian National Sports Committee (KONI), Wismoyo Arismunandar, has been able to acquire additional funding of Rp 2 billion to add to the Rp 10 billion already donated by Bappenas and the Senayan Management Board. With this Rp 12 billion, Indonesia can now send more than 400 athletes to Brunei Darussalam to compete in the 10- day event.
Since KONI is only sending athletes that it believes can win medals, it is terribly disappointing that wrestling has not been included in these games as this is undoubtedly Indonesia's best kept sports secret. I mean, I have yet to meet one single solitary person who has ever heard of the Indonesian Wrestling Association, but surely, with private donations totaling more than Rp 13 billion, the IWA must be producing some truly world- class wrestlers.
I have been wondering about this for some time and it has finally dawned on me what Andi Ghalib, Chairman of the IWA, and his billions for wrestling are up to. The SEA Games? Forget it! Who cares? I'll probably find someone who's heard of the Indonesian Wrestling Association before I find someone who cares one iota about the SEA Games. Saving the surprise for the 2000 Summer Olympics? Absolutely not! The Olympic Organizing Committee is too riddled with corruption for Indonesia's former attorney general to have anything to do with it and besides, the "Summer" Olympics will be held during the winter in Australia and that deceitful ploy has collusion written all over it.
The answer? Prime-time TV! We're talking satellite, cable links, pay-perview! The WCW is going to be headlocked, eye- gouged, and thrown out of the ring when the all new IWA, in association with the Kangaroo Kourt Network, hits the airwaves. Say goodbye to those has-been sissies like Bubba Braindead and Gomer Bonehead, and say hello to the new order in professional wrestling!
Brace yourselves for the knee knocking nervousness, the kinetic karate nihilism, and the kinky knavery ad nausea of one of the most accomplished and respected figures in the history of the sport. Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome to the ring, the future hall of famer and living icon of professional wrestling, the king of kickback nonparallel, that kooky kaiser of nonchalance, karma killing nimbus, knucklehead know-nothing numskull, and knights of kleptomania nominee, the undisputed IWF champion Andi "The Untouchable" Ghalib! Tonight's bout pits the champ against a powerless, but determined destroyer of the status quo, Teten "Corruptor Buster" Masduki.
It is all so unbelievably brilliant! Really, just imagine the prefight hype with Ghalib and Masduki slinging accusations and death threats all over the place and calling each other all sorts of offensive and abusive names. It is fantastic! The whole planet will be tuned in! Indonesia will become the professional wrestling capital of the entire world.
Ultimately, justice will be served, and Andi Ghalib will be awarded the same respect for his integrity and transparency that the great sport of professional wrestling so rightfully enjoys.
MARSHALL LESESNE
Jakarta