Youngsters need to be embraced, not blamed: Huberman

Youngsters need to be embraced, not blamed: Huberman

Barbara Kemp Huberman, director of the International Outreach
Program for the Washington-based Advocates for Youth, spent three
days working with Indonesian youth in Kuta, Bali. Having traveled
around the world for the last two decades as a proponent of youth
advocacy, Huberman shared her feelings and experience with The
Jakarta Post regarding the problems of youth across the world.
The following are the highlights of the interview.

Question: How do you see youth and their problems?

Answer: Youth around the world have similar problem. They are
often misunderstood and viewed as troublesome. It is time that we
(adults, parents, teachers, law and policy makers) change this
misleading portrayal. Problems emerge because the youth often
feel they are excluded and blamed. Let's value young people as a
potential resource, as part of the solution rather than problem.
Let's involve them in developing programs and policies that
affect their well-being. Young people deserve respect.

How are parents and families playing their roles in supporting
the youth?

It is clear, wherever and whenever in the world, that young
people who feel closely connected to family are more likely to
avoid risky behavior, including becoming involved in pre-marital
sex, drugs and crimes, in their teens period. Ideally, parents
are the primary educators for their children. They have to
communicate their values and beliefs in verbal and non-verbal
ways so that their children will grasp those values during their
developmental years.

There is much parents and adults can do to help the young
develop into a sexually responsible adolescence. Parents can
start discussing sexuality, puberty and other youth problems
honestly and openly.

In many countries, particularly those which still strongly
adhere to tradition and religion, parents are reluctant to
discuss sexuality, which is taboo, with their children.

Sexuality should be regarded as part of life and young people
have the right to be informed about this from early childhood.
There is always a misconception about sexuality. Talking about
sexuality doesn't mean that parents teach them how to do sex.
Parents and adults can teach young children appropriately about
parts of the human body and their functions.

They must be willing to answer their children about their
feelings, puberty, problems, so that they feel comfortable with
their parents.

In many places, even in the United States and other Western
countries, many parents do not talk to their children about
adolescence. They rarely open their hearts or carefully listen to
their young people. It happens everywhere, not just in Asian or
African countries, where discussing sexuality is taboo and
socially unacceptable.

Lack of understanding of sexuality and the problems of
teenagers has also hampered two-way communication between parents
and their children as well as teachers and students. How do you
view this?

Based on my own experience as a mother and grandmother as well
as a professional, I admit that a lot of parents do not have
adequate knowledge so that they are hesitate and have no
confidence in discussing issues that they do not fully
understand.

However, I encourage parents to educate themselves, to obtain
as much information as possible about teen problems. More
importantly, they must be willing, even when uncomfortable, to
talk to their children about issues of sexuality, relationships,
love and commitment.

While discussing the topic, parents may be able to stress the
importance of delaying sexual relations and building a healthy
and responsible adolescent life.

The print and electronic media, and the rapid growth of
communications technology, such as the Internet, over the last
ten years has been blamed for accelerating youth problems at both
the local and global levels. What role is the media really
playing?

Instead of looking at the media as a potent "enemy", I have
always viewed the media and other means of communication as
effective partners in promoting youth health and programs. The
rapid growth of technology has eliminated geographical as well as
social boundaries.

It also provides wide and open access to almost all
information. Teenagers in Alaska or in African countries or in
Indonesia can get similar information from the Internet. They are
able to download information, music and even pornography, and to
read anything as the American or Australian youth do.

You cannot close your eyes to this reality. We, adults, have
to accept the fact that we cannot prevent young people from
getting firsthand information about various things.

How would you use the media as a partner?

The Advocates for Youth have been closely working with the
printed and electronic media in the United States and other
countries as well. We have joined together with various high-
profile newspapers and magazines in promoting youth issues. We
have been cooperating with radio stations in creating various
programs such as talk shows on parental and youth problems.

Surprisingly, we have also set up very positive relations with
American television and film producers such as the producers of
popular sitcoms and soap operas, Friends, The West Wing, General
Hospital and several others. We provide technical assistance and
expertise and work together to produce film scripts that can
spread the message of how to have healthy and respectful
relationships, on HIV/AIDS, teen problems and many other topics.

We also do similar projects in several countries such as India
and Egypt. Indonesia could also do the same. I believe there are
many good television and radio programs.

After spending three days with some Indonesian teenagers, how
do you see them?

Meeting them has been so incredible. Even in the United
States, I could not gather as many teens together in such a way.
This is my first time in Indonesia and I have read mountains of
information about the country and especially about its young
people. If they (around 131 youth participants) represent the
majority of Indonesian youth, I am so impressed.

They are very active, committed young people who care about
their problems, who are so committed and intelligent. I know
there are some who are in trouble now. Let's help and embrace
them and show them our empathy rather than blaming them for their
mistakes.