Words of counsel from teenage parents
Donya Betancourt, Pediatrician, drdonya@hotmail.com
It seems today that obstetric wards are filled with girls younger than 20 who had not planned to get pregnant.
The truth about sex and the consequence of sex, infection and having a baby needs to be explained clearly to young teenagers.
Teenagers must understand that if they become a parent they become responsible -- physically, emotionally and financially -- for a child for the rest of their lives. There are no weekends or summer vacations -- the child will always be there. Most teenage moms say that if they had been better informed they would never have had sex in the first place. The following are a few home truths from teenage parents: * I recommend kids should just stay away from sex altogether unless you like waking up in the middle of the night and early in the morning, spending all of your money on that child and not having a rupiah to spend on yourself. Just because my parents and family helped me doesn't mean yours will, necessarily. Think about it next time you have sex -- is it really worth the lifetime responsibility for the five minutes of pleasure? My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I really wish I could have waited. So don't make the same mistake I did. Please use abstinence as your birth control method. * At 16, I became pregnant. Before my pregnancy, I was a cheerleader and involved with many school clubs. I had many friends and was enjoying my teenage years. I now ask myself, "What happened to me? Where did I go wrong?" There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my past mistakes. This letter is not in any way intended to prove how teen mothers can succeed, but rather to prove how one mistake can change the rest of your life! Enjoy your teen years! I will never have the opportunity to do these things again, but you will. Please, think twice before you alter the rest of your life. * The only way that I can think of to prevent teen pregnancy is if parents maintain a good and manageable relationship with their kids. * I think most parents make the mistake of scaring their kids. Parents should tell their kids they won't punish them, but that they will be disappointed. * It's almost as if adults are afraid to talk about it for fear they will put the idea in our heads. Well, guess what ... we are already thinking about it and we need as much guidance and advice as possible. * The most important factor associated with young women being overwhelmed by the stress in life, in my opinion, is a lapse in proper parenting. Parents need to take responsibility for their children's actions and teach them right from wrong. * I'm a teen mom. I don't blame my parents for my pregnancy. However, it would have been helpful if they had been a little more open about sex. It was never discussed until they discovered that I was pregnant.
The decision about whether to have sex is a very important one and can often be quite difficult to make. It may surprise you to know that, when it comes to sex, most teenagers and parents agree that the first priority for teenagers is to wait to have sex, in order to protect their physical and emotional health. But it is also true that the majority of teenagers and parents feel that if a young person is going to be sexually active, using contraception as "protection" is essential.
So there you have it from the mouth of babes. Babies having babies is not cool, not smart, and, most of all, not healthy for either the mother or baby and maybe, just maybe, if parents took the time to initiate a conversation about the hard facts of sex, fewer teenagers would end up living a life of lost dreams.