Women, use your own names

A name is a prayer. A name denotes a person's gender. Someone is called Tuti because she is a female. Another person is called Martin because he is a male.

In our community, there is a tendency for married women to use their husbands' names. After marrying Martin, Tuti changes her name to Tuti Martin. So her identity is not clear. Tuti is the name of a woman while Martin is that of a man.

In other cases, Tuti will be called Mrs. Martin after she marries Martin. This is also confusing because "Mrs." is used only for a woman not for Martin, a male.

Imagine if a woman marries several times. She can be Mrs. Martin and then after separating from Martin and marrying Djoko, she will be Mrs. Djoko. The next day, she may be Mrs. Tono because she separates from Djoko and marries Tono.

So it would be better for women to use their own names. If you want to feel a little more "macho", just use the name of your father after your own name because your father will always be your father.

The tendency for women to use the names of their husbands shows that they are still comfortable under the shadow of men, a condition contradicting gender equality.

Besides, using the name of your husband both negates your own identity and denies your own socio-psychological reality as a woman. These are the symptoms of a crisis of identity. If many women are suffering from a crisis of identity, what will become of their children?

TONTOWY DJAUHARI HAMZAH

Jakarta