Women need respect for their choices about family

I always enjoy meeting other working mothers because I love to share stories about raising children while holding down jobs. So I was delighted to host a luncheon at the White House this week honoring women who have successfully combined work and family life.

Some of our nation's most accomplished working women were there, including Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick (who had to leave early to attend her daughter's ballet recital); Pat Summitt, head coach of the University of Tennessee Lady Volunteers basketball team; Jill Barad, the chief executive officer (CEO) of Mattel Inc.; Elaine Pagels, a renowned scholar and professor at Princeton University; and other leading women from the fields of law, entertainment, journalism, business and politics.

Also on hand were some working mothers whose names you wouldn't know. They aren't famous or well-to-do. And they aren't in positions of national influence. They represent the vast majority of women in America who struggle every day to fulfill their obligations at home and on the job, often with meager resources and little help. I felt that women like Tina Garcia deserved to be honored, too.

Tina grew up on welfare and was a single mother for eight years. She couldn't afford child care, so she improvised by working during school hours or bringing her children to work. She also shared duties with another single mother, who didn't drive. Tina would run errands and do grocery shopping in exchange for baby-sitting. Today, this mother of four runs a thriving real estate company in Virginia.

In recent years, women like Tina Garcia have become a driving force in our country -- politically, socially and economically. That's because their concerns -- finding affordable child care, spending more time with their children, being valued at work, being compensated fairly and having flexible leave tie for family emergencies -- are real-life issues confronting tens of millions of working mothers across our country.

You may remember that many of these were summed up during the presidential campaign as the "feminization of politics." I think that's an unfortunate term. After all, most fathers worry about whether their children are in safe, dependable and affordable child care. Most men want to be able to take time off when a family member is gravely ill. Most sons want to ensure that their elderly parents have health care coverage.

Instead of the "feminization of politics," I prefer to think of this phenomenon as the "humanization of politics." What we have seen being played out in the political arena is how people's personal concerns can become political if they use their voices -- and their votes -- to define them.

The gender gap we hear so much about is simply a measure of how women, who are expert on the hazards and vicissitudes of life, vote their self-interest and their values. In so doing, they deliver a clear message that the issues they care about deserve to be on the front burner of national politics.

While political scientists often discuss real politic, the balance of power among nations, working mothers are saying that national politics must also be about real-life politic -- about how we live and work together and how we achieve balance in our lives.

Regardless of our political affiliation or where we stand on any particular issue or even where we come down on the larger question of how we attain a balance of power in our own lives, we must acknowledge that much is at stake for women collectively in this debate.

Will public and private institutions help empower women with the tools they need to expand their choices and take responsibility for their lives? And by that, I mean, will businesses initiate policies that make work more family-friendly? Will employers value women by paying them equal pay for equal work?

Will individual women be respected for the choices they make about family, work and personal growth -- and will they be able to make those choices free of the burden of other people's and society's expectations? will we stop pigeonholing women and invoking stereotypes that limit their potential? Will we admit that there is no formula for being a successful or fulfilled woman in today's society -- that one can choose full-time motherhood and homemaking or be committed to work outside the home without marriage or children or, like most of us today, balance work and family responsibilities?

Whether they are CEOs or minimum-wage workers, most women are doing everything they can to do right by their families and their jobs. Now it's time for society to let them know that their choices are supported and respected.

-- Creators Syndicate