Women cannot easily get a divorce

Muninggar Sri Saraswati, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

About 12 couples in the city were divorced every day last year, data states.

And in most cases, it is the wife who wants to end the marriage - because of two main reasons: either the man neglected the family or he had an affair with another woman.

"There are many reasons for a divorce. But in most cases, women who want to divorce the husband complained that he neglected the family or had an affair with another woman," South Jakarta Religious Court deputy head registrar Aida said.

Alcohol and gambling were also contributing factors, she said.

Religious courts handle the divorce cases for Muslim couples, while non-Muslims file for divorce at the district court.

Last year, both courts handled about 4,538 divorce cases. More than 3,000 cases were filed by women.

The marriage law stipulates that both a woman and a man have the same right to request a divorce. Like the husband, the wife can file a divorce request without her husband's agreement.

In reality, divorce procedures can be lengthy and complicated.

If the husband does not want a divorce, it is difficult for the wife to divorce him. In this patriarchal society, she has to get her husband's agreement for the divorce. Otherwise, it could take months or even more than one year before the woman can officially divorce him.

A divorced woman acknowledged the condition saying that she had experienced difficulties during the hearings of her divorce case.

"This case cost me a lot. Not only in term of money and time but also emotions," said Meita of her experience two years ago.

Meita, not her real name, said she was charged Rp 291,000 when filing the suit at the court, and paid the lawyer Rp 10 million.

Meita requested a divorce from his husband, an entertainment businessman, since she felt abused emotionally by him. Although she was accompanied by a lawyer, the hearings did not run smoothly as it was not easy to prove emotional abuse.

Her husband and his attorneys refused to come to the hearings several times, forcing the court to postpone it. However, the court finally approved her request after more than six-months.

An officer at the West Jakarta Religious Court, Ahmad, said that the process could take a long time as the judge wanted to make sure that the husband agreed to the divorce.

"Most of the time, we have to wait until the husband approves his wife's request. We also have to try to unite them according to the procedure," he said.

He rejected the accusation that the process could be complicated due to the corruption amid the notorious judiciary.

He also reasoned that the court must consider many things, including the condition of the marriage and the children.

If both the husband and the wife agree to divorce, a court will approve the divorce request in about two months. Otherwise, it will take more than a year before the court approves it. Or, in some cases, the court might even turn down the request, if the judge was of the opinion that there was no strong reasons for the divorce.

A judge at the South Jakarta District Court, said there was a woman who wanted a divorce because there was no harmony in her marriage. But he rejected the request because the woman failed to prove that the marriage was rocky, while witnesses testified that there was nothing wrong in their marriage.

"We considered more about their under-aged children. As a mother, she has to think about them," said the judge, who believed that both couples must make sacrifices for their marriage.

Lawyer Apong Herlina criticized the judge, saying the court must give equal treatment to both men and women who requested a divorce.

"What is the benefit of rejecting a divorce request? A broken marriage could give bad influence to children as they have to live in an unhealthy atmosphere," she told The Jakarta Post.

"I believe such cases happened because judges are gender biased. They still think that a divorce is a man's right," she said, adding that it could also happen if the case was handled by corrupt judges.

Apong, a founder of the Legal Aid Institute of the Association of Indonesia Women for Justice (LBH APIK) once experienced difficulties while counseling a woman in a divorce case. The woman's husband had another woman but he refused to divorce his wife as this could damage his reputation in his office.

The man refused to attend the hearing for the case and forced the court to postpone the case. The court finally approved the wife's application after 18 months.

LBH APIK works together with Kalyanamitra, an organization for women counseling.

Last year, Kalyanamitra handled 83 cases of marital abuse, of which 60 ended in divorce.