Win at all costs the name of our game

Loud chatter came from behind me, as two young women talked like they were the only ones in the room.

I inched closer to get a better view of them and, of course, eavesdrop on what was causing all the fuss.

"Look, I just bought this cell phone," one of them said, showing off her new find.

Her friend gave it the quick once over before grabbing something from inside her bag.

"But mine is the latest model," she smiled, flashing her gleaming silver phone.

Checkmate.

I couldn't help feeling sorry for them both. But I am used to everyday competitions played out in offices, at wedding receptions, family gatherings and among our neighbors.

It may be a parent talking up the exceptional talents of their kids, those bragging about their newfangled gadgets, others refusing to take no for an answer on the soccer pitch or our prospective leaders literally and figuratively passing the buck to win in political elections.

It's a case of win at all costs.

A colleague had mentioned to me that perhaps the AFI singing talent contest, where a contestant is voted off the show every week, showed that the younger generation is becoming more gracious losers.

I don't think so: Collectively, we still have a bad case of sour grapes.

Maybe that's also the reason why bribery is a common practice here. Hate losing or not getting your way? Then bribe your way out and earn a tarnished victory.

But I fear change will not be a quick process.

I used to enjoy watching the debates of presidential candidates, eager to know how they of the polished look and practiced smile would do when called to think on their feet about solutions to all our country's problems.

Now, my interest has cooled after reading that one of the candidates had some questions thrown out before one so-called debate.

Even former president Abdurrahman "Gus Dur" Wahid could not graciously accept being disqualified from contesting the presidential election on medical grounds.

Left half-blind by a series of strokes and diabetes, he may have his reasons for saying the move was "discriminatory and unconstitutional", but I guess that many people, especially me, want a president who can see what's really going around them.

He may have served his cause better by calmly stating his case against discrimination against the handicapped, instead of coming off as a someone who stubbornly refuses to accept the reality of the situation (unenlightened as it is, on many issues) in this country today.

And God only knows how the four losing presidential candidates will take defeat when the elections roll around next month.

If our leaders cannot take a loss in stride, it's little wonder that the "little people" run riot when they don't get their way, like the soccer supporters when Indonesia lost in the final of the Southeast Asian Games in Jakarta in 1997 (and on many other occasions, before and since).

With Wimbledon starting on Monday, it's interesting to note the saying that greets the tennis players as they leave the changing room for the famous Center Court: If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those impostors just the same.

We are a long, long way from that evenhanded view of life. But perhaps we should remember that while winning might taste good, the victory will be even sweeter if we know what it is to lose.

-- Stevie Emilia