What's your poison? Finding some stress relief

Aida Greenbury Contributor Jakarta

Living in this decrepit metropolitan city can be really depressing. What's new, right? Face it -- it's hard to follow grandma's advice to always think positive and always make sure to be surrounded by positive energy in this place.

I wake up every morning, with my throat and nose full of weird stuff I inhale from the air conditioner in my bedroom, which is on maximum strength every night or else I would be covered in a layer of unhealthy gooey sweat. Don't dare suggest opening the window to breathe in the "fresh" air while I am sleeping: I would end up looking slightly blue when I wake up in the morning, if I wake up, that is.

Then I climb in the bathtub to soak my body in the yellowish water, a questionable mix of rust and other deposits seeping from the half-blocked shower holes.

After my rejuvenating regime, piles of work usually greet me, which would be quite OK if there was actually real work to be done. Which means that I would be actually making a bit of money instead of wasting the cheerful morning like most of the time.

The good old socializing method, where people actually meet and talk face to face, sounds like a crime now when e-mails, video calls and SMS have the same functions, minus the hassle of a dehydrated mouth due to the act of plastering a friendly though usually false smile on my face, the traffic jammed trips and, God forbid, physical touching and friendly gestures! They are so last century.

Work, no healthy socializing, awful air and woeful water quality, traffic jams: Don't have to be an Einstein to figure out that the MC2 is a highly stressful lifestyle. I also realize that I would end up looking scarier than a stuffed Keith Richard if I do not do anything about it. Release me, my precious.

What do I do? What should you do to release the stress? Please don't give me that snobbish spiel of "Oh, I'm fine here, life is beautiful, I'm enjoying it, care for a cup of tea, dear?"

When I think about it, there are handfuls of stress release activities in this city. There are the beaches, golf courses, movie theaters, hundreds of interesting hobbies. Did I mention the wonderful beaches? There is Ancol in North Jakarta, for example, with its finicky dress code found nowhere else in the world. The beach's visitors are urged to wear blue jeans, T- shirts and/or black leather jackets.

Don't try to sunbathe there in your latest D&G bikini unless you want to be gawked at by drooling males, snotty kids, mutant seagulls and God knows what else. The stretch of Anyer and its little beach minions to the west of the city are also quite amusing. However, you cannot really snorkel there, because your underwater visibility is less than five meters and there is nothing to see except the long waste pipe from the nearby industrial complex.

For good-hearted humble people, charity is often the chosen stress-release activity. Now, that does not include the noble act of giving cash to the police officers when you are pulled over on the street for not being able to read the traffic regulations written in tiny font on the street sign while not speeding (who can speed on Jakarta streets anyway?).

Taking young jockeys for a three-in-one ride and giving them a few thousand rupiah is also classified as a charity act by some, as in improving the welfare of street children in Jakarta. And for the aged and depressed? Well, they can always play golf to relieve the burdens of life.

For my personal stress relief, I chose to make a marine aquarium a hobby. Ages ago, my biology teacher told me: "If you can't watch marine animals in their original habitat, you can always set up your own marine habitat in an aquarium in your home!"

So I did just that. I have a marine aquarium at home. It's got about a dozen fish that look a bit out of place living in a glass box, adorned with colorful live corals. But now I can happily say that I can maintain my sanity amid the assault of daily stress, plus giving job opportunities for those people who earn a bit of money from chipping away the precious coral reef, fighting against the wild tropical current to survive while probably inadvertently poisoning themselves with cyanide while they are trying to tranquilize the fish at the bottom of the ocean.

It's the balance between the stress and the release that you need folks. After all, to live and earn money in this colorful city, one pays one's dues.