What is best to stimulate an infant's gray matter?
Dear Dr. Donya,
I read your article regarding not pushing your children too early in life. I don't think I would ever behave to the extent the mother mentioned in the article did. I would like my daughter now over three months old to grow up just as she does. However, I also want to give her the best stimulation for her "gray matter".
Since she was a few weeks old, my husband and I started talking to her and when she was two months old, she started babbling. She laughs a lot and now she can produce a giggly sound whenever we talk to or with her. She also plays a lot with her hands. But I am still not satisfied with it.
I read in a book that at her age now, she should be given more stimulation other than just conversing with her. If a baby doesn't get enough stimulation, she might get lazy, so they say. What should I do?
-- Yulianna
Dear Yulianna,
You and your husband are already doing fine. The tip is "enjoy" and she will be happy whenever you are with her. In the early age of the first year, the baby is learning "trust and love" if you are feeding her, burping, bathing, dressing, changing, holding, or just sitting with her. Showing her that she is the most wonderful baby makes her spirit grow.
You can be quiet nine-tenths of the time and she will still sense the kindness of your companionship when you hold, hug, look and talk to her in your gentle voice.
One thing that can happen if parents make the baby do things or play games most of her waking hours is she may become quite dependent on your attention and demand more and more of it.
For your three-month-old baby, she will enjoy looking at colors and moving objects. You can take her outdoors, show her leaves and shadows. Indoors, she can look at the pictures, hang some objects for her to reach like spoons or cups and be sure to pick the ones that are too big to put into her mouth.
There is also truth in the value of classical music; you can play that for her while she rests. Being a parent is a learning experience for everyone, the best advice is to enjoy your time with your child and she will be fine.
-- Dr. Donya
Dear Dr. Donya,
I have two boys aged nine and seven years old. They are very much like other kids, only they are afraid to sleep alone.
At present, they sleep with us in our room and I make a rule that every day they both have to take a turn to sleep alone in a separate bed, although it is still in our room ...
-- Benny
Dear Benny,
Check out nightmares or night terrors by asking the kids if they have had any.
A nightmare is a bad dream, which mostly happens at age three years to six years old, but it can go on until adulthood. Dreaming triggers deepest fears, and a child may wake up crying or screaming.
You have to tell them the dream is not real and ask details of the dream to reassure him. You cannot get rid of monsters in their dream life but you can reassure your children as a way to cope with them.
Night terrors are different from nightmares. When it happens, the child starts screaming and his eyes are staring wide open and does not respond when you talk to him.
In your case, you did not mention those dreams. Ask your children and talk to them about the possibility of not sleeping alone.
You can start by putting them together in a separate room. Present the move as a sign of respect for their growing up and needing their own space. In the first few nights, you may walk them to their room and sit with them until they sleep, then gradually withdraw.
If there is any crying or moving to your room in the middle of the night, walk them back, stay with them for a while then leave.
They are grown up enough to understand rules and can tell you if there is any problem with dreams or nightmares. Please try it and let me know how you do.
-- Dr. Donya
Donya Betancourt is a pediatriacian based in Sanur, Bali. If you have questions, please contact her at drdonya@hotmail.com, or you can reach her at features@thejakartapost.com.