Visiting 'nouveau riche' restaurants in Kemang

Visiting 'nouveau riche' restaurants in Kemang

JAKARTA (JP): The nouveau riche may be growing, but judging by
the quality of nouveau riche restaurants which have recently
opened in Jakarta, they're not eating.

Although trendy Pondok Indah provides stiff competition, the
leafy neighborhood of Kemang in South Jakarta has long been the
home of the nouveau riche (old money lives in Menteng). It is
then no coincidence that Jakarta's four new nouveau riche
restaurants -- Coterie, Padussi, Restaurant Tipical Mexicana, and
Jimbani -- are located in Kemang. Four addition restaurants are
expected to open in Kemang in the next few months.

Perhaps it is also no coincidence that the portions served at
these restaurants are meager. After all, the nouveau riche have
to be able to fit into those size two Armani suits. The food of
the nouveau riche is nouvelle cuisine. Nouvelle cuisine is more
about appearances than content; it knows the mindset of its
appearances-obsessed market. Nouvelle cuisine restaurants can
get away with serving four grains of Chilean rice topped with a
beautifully sculpted Californian carrot at twenty dollars per
plate.

Considering the country's impressive economic growth, nouvelle
cuisine's arrival in Indonesia was inevitable. Unfortunately,
nouvelle cuisine is incompatible with Indonesian lifestyle; its
penchant for rich foods evident by the number of food vendors and
warungs lining the streets. Traditionally, Indonesians love to
eat, and they love to eat lots.

Disappointed

This must be why nouveau riche restaurants often leave me
disappointed and hungry. When I first entered Cafe Padussi (Jl.
Kemang Timur no. 57), the mellow ambience of the Bali-style cafe
instilled high expectations for the evening meal. In the outdoor
patio, diners played chess on cushy sofas while others relaxed in
the cool breeze and even cooler jazz tunes. The room was all fine
teak and earthy ikat on the walls; all of which can be bought
from the restaurant for a hefty price. Momentarily, you forget
that you are in bustling Jakarta and instead feel the calmness of
Ubud. However, I have just returned from Ubud, and the food there
is heftier and cheaper.

Padussi specializes in Thai food, and its hor bai toy (chicken
wrapped in pandan leaves) was tasty, but there was hardly
anything on the plate. Similarly, the chicken and coconut cream
soup (Thom Khai Ka) was deliciously soaked in ginger and enough
green chilies to clear up any sinus problems, but after three
spoonfuls and one big gulp, the bowl was empty. To add to the
hunger pangs were skimpy portions of white rice are not included
with the main courses. Two plates of Padussi rice (at Rp 1,500
per plate) would still be dwarfed by a nasi campur at your local
warung.

Barometer

What you may not get at your local warung, however, is some
pomme frites. In my experience, a good barometer for a
restaurant is the quality and quantity of a plate of chips. As
expected, Padussi's plate of french fries were meager.

Not as meager, however, as the ones served at Coterie, a
French patesserie on Jl. Kemang Raya. Poor french fries at a
French restaurant! We ordered a plate of "homemade potato
chips". Stale and generic, they may have come out of a package
of homemade chips, but cooked in the restaurant they were not.
At rp.2,000 per plate, this was highway robbery.

Small portions peppered our meal, from the spoonful of
guacamole and salsa which accompanied a passable quesadilla (Rp
5,000), to the straight-out-of-the-can asparagus soup (Rp 3,500).
But the prices were reasonable, and the Thai beef salad with
spicy peanut sauce (Rp 6,000) was particularly good.

Coterie's appearance was typical suburbia, with its suburban
pastel furnishings and pictures of National Audubon Society birds
on the walls -- akin to an upscale Denny's. Coterie is also the
definitive yuppie restaurant. Capitalizing on the yuppie
propensity to travel, their menu spans the globe, as do their
take-away offerings. At the patisserie counter, you can feast on
brownies and banana cake, as well as drink Seattle-brewed
Starbucks coffee and assorted teas with exotic names, like
hibiscus, Russian caravan, and rose petals. Coterie's owner,
Jack Subiyakto, must also note that yuppies would rather shop
than eat, so there is a furniture store above the restaurant.

Jimbani (Jl. Kemang Raya 85) goes one step further and
declares itself a Gallery/Restaurant. Across the United States
and Europe, most reputable restaurants unabashedly sell art on
their walls, without pretensions of being an art gallery. As
Jimbani's walls were not exactly cluttered with art works (the
odd painting here and there does NOT transform an eatery into a
gallery), their reputation will have to rely on their food; which
wasn't great.

We ordered tacos and nasi campur (both at Rp 8,000 per plate).
The tacos were lukewarm and bland. The nasi campur had a few
grains of rice, four small pieces of tempe, and a spoonful of
seafood curry (looking worryingly similar to the boullabaise my
companion ordered) -- all neatly arranged with carved garnishes.
Trying to pass such meals as works of art is a sorry excuse for
stingy portions.

Yet the restaurant's ambience could almost compensate for the
mediocre food. Ornate Balinese carvings graced the walls, and a
wading pool lay by the spacious patio. An unused swimming pool
seems to be the ultimate restaurant accessory nowadays, implanted
merely to create a holiday atmosphere. Yet it was difficult to
relax poolside with the live band cranking out Bon Jovi tunes
inside. Performing in front of a Balinese banjar exterior, the
band was not only too loud but also seemed incongruous in this
traditional religious setting.

Restaurant Tipico Casa Mexicana (Jl. Ampera Raya 2) steered
clear of religious symbols (at least those which Indonesians are
familiar with). In fact, the restaurant seems to steer clear of
anything Indonesians may be familiar with. Declaring itself to
be an authentic Mexican restaurant, the menu is peppered with
meals containing "imported ingredients from Mexico". As most
Indonesians have little contact with Mexico or Mexicans, it is
unlikely that anyone would dispute the restaurant's claim.

I went to the restaurant before it officially opened. At the
time, they only served Mexican snacks. We ordered the obligatory
nachos, and soon found ourselves dining on stale corn chips and
cheez-wiz (liquid cheese-product which was never solid in the
first place). Disappointment set in as quickly as hunger, and we
made a bee-line to the door.

I returned the following week to give the restaurant another
chance. After all, it has one of the most creative interiors in
Jakarta, with bright red and yellow walls and cacti lining the
windows. From this grand appearance it seems as if its interior
designer was given a bottomless pit of cash to spend -- which
would explain the extortionate prices of the meals and drinks. I
felt that every expensive spoonful I ate was paying for the
colorful gerberas, imported silver trays and bright pink napkins
on each table.

Traditional

We ordered the "traditional Mexican sandwich on telera bread"
(Rp 17,000) and the Tamales Rancheros (Rp 14,000). The former
was beans, chicken, and cheese, wrapped in very thick delicious
bread. I nearly choked as the sandwich was so thick. But it came
without garnishes or chips, and you could hardly taste the
guacamole. It wasn't particularly good, but since I don't know
what Mexicans eat, it was hard to complain.

The Tamales Rancheros was even more foreign. As my companion
succinctly said, "I'm not ordering this again". Basically it was
corn and bean mince wrapped in a corn shell. It looks like
something else, and tastes like not much at all. Again, it
arrives unaccompanied, so we had to order an expensive plate of
paltry guacamole (Rp 8,000).

After the meal, my companion went to the washroom. She
quickly returned, exclaiming, "You have got to see this".
Indeed, it's an eyeful -- the floor, walls, and ceilings a mirage
of carefully-laid small stones, with a full-length mirror by the
basins to facilitate self-beautification. And that sums up
Restaurant Tipico Casa Mexicana, as well as Kemang's other
nouveau riche restaurants: pleasing to the eye, and not to the
stomach.

-- Comer Well