Uncle

By Hawa Arofah

I'd never have expected that my uncle and aunt would decide to take refuge in my modest house after living in the lap of luxury in their spacious home for so many years.

As a former top-echelon government official, uncle was quite well-to-do. When they were still alive, my parents often received money from him. As one of his nieces, I also frequently benefitted from his assistance, and he paid for my education from junior high school through university

As I felt indebted to him, I willingly accepted them into my house.

However, I felt uneasy. It's not because my house had become a little more crowded with their presence, but because my uncle seemed to be one of the former officials that the police were trying to round up for links with the past regime. I'd heard rumors that uncle, along with a number of other former officials, would be tried on corruption charges. I reckoned that uncle may have been involved in corruption at some time, or perhaps he had been a major abuser of the system.

I became suspicious. Perhaps, the money I had received from him for my schooling came from his corruption.

I'd never have dared to ask him about it, not while they were staying with me, at any rate.

One morning, uncle and aunt invited me for a chat in the living room. "Perhaps, we will stay here for several more months," uncle said.

"It's up to you! I am really happy to have you here with me" I said.

Although I felt a feeling of unease in my chest, I forced a smile. How could I not feel distressed if there was a chance they would be arrested by the police at any time? They had taken refuge in my house as they believed it was a safer place than their own children's homes.

Really, they should have preferred to stay with one of their children as all six of them had good lives. Their houses were large and luxurious, while mine was only a simple one measuring no more than 36 square meters. Besides, I was buying it by installment and would have to wait a few more years before it was all paid off.

It was a quiet house as I lived there with my servant, Mbok Imah, and I was still single and worked in a private bank.

But their presence was a source of curiosity to some of my neighbors.

"When are your guests going home?" one of them asked one day.

I replied that uncle and aunt were living with me because they really loved me and would keep me company until I found a husband.

My explanation seemed to be sufficient as the questions stopped. To the neighborhood unit chief, I reported that my uncle and aunt were temporarily staying with me and that they should be regarded as my parents.

They understood.

"Is there someone looking after your house, uncle?" I smilingly asked.

Uncle didn't say anything.

"For the time being, no one is taking care of it!" auntie replied sullenly. "Perhaps, it's like a haunted house now."

I imagined how their neighbors were now talking about them. Perhaps, all their neighbors already knew that uncle was a corrupt official. Perhaps some of them were radical reformists who would set fire to the house of my Uncle Tom.

I thought of uncle's house being looted and set ablaze by a wild mob.

The mob fiercely shouted: "A house built from corruption must be burned! The house of a corrupt official must no longer be allowed to stand in this reform era! Former corrupt officials must be booted out of this country."

Since they first came to stay in my house, uncle and aunt had always performed their five obligatory prayers. They also regularly performed the optional midnight prayer.

I had often overheard them asking God to forgive them for all the sins they had committed. Well, they must have committed many sins because, otherwise, they would not have sought his forgiveness so often.

Yet, in God's eyes, as written in the scripture, a person is never too late to make amends as long as he still has breath. God had even said that He will pardon whoever sincerely asks for forgiveness.

Problems arise, however, if someone commits a sin against other people. Will God give His pardon to, for example, corrupt officials whose deeds bring untold suffering to the people? Will these people be eligible for His forgiveness?

If these people pray to God, will their prayers ever be heard given that they had sinned against other people?

I then remembered a story my late mother had once told me about a king who decided to become a priest near the end of his life. As a priest, he tried to be close to God all the time, intensively performing his devotions to God and praying for His forgiveness.

The story ended tragically: the priest died and was sent to hell. When the priest discovered his fate, he protested to God about why he had been treated so even though he had tried so hard to be a good priest. God then explained that the priest had committed many sins against his people when he was a king, and thus had been sent to hell.

"I have no right to absolve the sins that one has committed against another, especially the sins of a king against his subjects," God asserted.

Remembering that story, I felt like giving some advice to uncle and auntie. If it were true that they had done bad deeds and frequently committed sins such as corruption, they'd better beseech the people's forgiveness by returning to the state all the assets they had acquired through corruption.

Obviously, I did not want them to be sent to hell when they were dead, like the unfortunate priest.

But I didn't dare to advise them. I guessed they would get angry if they heard my suggestion. I preferred to keep a distance and let them pray to God. Who knows, maybe they had only committed sins against God, for example, by being too lazy to perform their religious duties in the past? May God forgive their sins.

Uncle asked me for a talk in the living room when Auntie and mbok Imah had gone out to the market.

"This is a secret! Don't reveal it to anybody else!" uncle said with a distraught face.

I was startled but tried to remain calm.

"I was once a corrupt official! That's why I was able to help your parents, including financing your education!" uncle said, his eyes brimming with tears.

I was almost overcome at hearing uncle's honest confession. I felt that I was so dirty all over: the food, the school fees, the installments on my house. I felt as if I had all of a sudden been wrapped in a filthy blanket.

"Now I am really embarrassed. I am ashamed to God, to everybody, including you!" uncle said, sobbing.

I could not hold back my tears.

"I am also very sad as, perhaps, my sins won't be forgiven by God!" uncle groaned.

I cried, too. My chest felt like exploding with a mixture of feelings: sorrow, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, hate, annoyance, and I did not know what else.

Kaliwungu Kudus, May 2, 2002

Translated by Ismiarti