To be single ... or not to be

Recently, I saw two local movies that enraged me. No, it's not because they're badly written, poorly executed or starred a model trying hard to be an actress. (I'll leave that to Joko Anwar to decide.) It's the message that annoyed me, the "Go get married or you'll be doomed" message. Oh, please.

Cinta Silver is one such film. Throughout, we hear Rima Melati's character asking her 35-year-old son to get married. Over, and over, and over to the point that it just gets too much.

Okay, I should understand every mother's wish to see their children (happily) married. It's only human.

Who wouldn't like a joyous wedding followed by more babies to fill this overcrowded world? But, hey, when it's thrown in your face for almost two hours and leaves you feeling that if you're single you have a disease, that's just sick.

A lot of lines in the film will make singletons feel they did something bad, that they won't reach "good son" status until they are married. And that life won't be complete without your other (better) half.

Sure. Now watch those infotainment shows and you'll see how many married couples are filing divorce papers and crying over splitting the TV.

We should know that it doesn't take marriage papers to be happy. But this doesn't mean you have to be single to be happy, either. The thing is, there should always be a choice for everyone to decide what they want to be -- single or not.

Another movie, Vina Bilang Cinta, fell onto the same bandwagon. It appeared only in one line, but it bugged me instantly. There's this 30-something, independent, successful woman character telling Rachel Maryam's character, "I don't want you to end up like me. Alone."

Gosh, you're a successful woman, and yet you still don't want people to be like you, simply out of your state of singleness. So what if you're single? So what if Rachel's character wants to be single, isn't it her right to decide for herself?

Since movies brought me to this ranting, another movie provides a balance. Sadly, it's not a local one.

Remember how Hugh Grant's single life in About a Boy changed when he learned life's greatest lessons from a boy? The idea is basically the same with Cinta Silver, that no man's an island.

But where About a Boy changed a selfish man into someone who cares for others, Cinta Silver wants to change someone who's not married to someone who is.

This is exactly like our society. When a girl over 20 comes to a wedding, you can bet she'll be asked by a whole troupe, "Where's your boyfriend?" When she brings the boyfriend in question, unfortunately, the question changes: "When are you getting married?" When she gets married, it's: "Any plans on having a baby soon?" The vicious circle just won't end.

The thing is, everyone thinks being with someone will make them happier. I'm not saying it can't, but in the 21st century, it's sad to judge someone's life based on their love life.

Against all else, we should know the more important question to ask someone you care about is, "Are you happy?"

People look and long for love, naturally. Some through marriage, some from their friends, some from family. Millions of people want to get married, but maybe millions of others don't.

There's nothing wrong with either, so don't judge one side from another. Honestly, is it a crime to be single? -- Kenny Santana