Tips to protect cars during the campaign
By John Aglionby
ON Tuesday, this newspaper printed a photo of a car vandalized by Golkar supporters during an election campaign street procession.
This was by no means an isolated case. Many people caught up in rallies have told of similar, if not quite so horrific, experiences.
To help prevent these incidents becoming more widespread and to ensure the minimum amount of damage is done to vehicles during last week of the campaign (the last day is May 23), The Jakarta Post is pleased to publish a series of tips for drivers on how to protect their vehicles from coming under attack.
1. Leave your car locked up at home in a garage protected by a posse of strapping bodyguards. This is particularly advisable if it is a Timor car because there have been several reports, most notably in Bogor, of disaffected campaigners putting the boot into the national car.
2. If you have no choice but to go out, plan your itinerary so you do everything on a day when the Indonesian Democratic Party (PDI) is supposed to be campaigning in your area. This usually means the streets will be empty.
Even if it doesn't, it has not been uncommon for the police to outnumber PDI campaigners in some districts so, they are free to direct what little traffic there is. You should, therefore, reach your destination even more quickly than usual, but this is by no means guaranteed.
3. Golkar and United Development Party campaigners rarely get out of bed and on to the streets before 1:30 p.m. so, run all your errands before then.
4. If all of the above are out of the question, take advantage of the fact that many of the cities traffic light street vendors have taken to selling party paraphernalia. To cover all the bases in one stroke buy a sheet-sized flag in the colors of each of the parties. Drape the appropriate one over your hood on the appropriate day and you should be laughing all the way to your destination.
5. If you prefer people to protect your car rather than just a sheet-sized flag there are two alternatives.
a) Follow the example set by the Jakarta Harley Davidson Club and hire a dozen truckloads of the country's finest military police and the same number of motorcycle outriders. This should mean that all campaigners will be shoved into the gutters and you will travel through the city with unimaginable ease with no one coming anywhere near your vehicle.
b) If your budget does not stretch to the bundles of money required per day for the above protection go to the other extreme and let the campaigners get into your car. This might sound a bit radical but with someone hanging out of each of your doors it should result in no one attacking your car. The only drawback is that you will as likely as not be left with an enormous car-valet bill. This is not nearly as bad, however, as having to replace the windshield and hubcaps.
6. Take an ojek (motorcycle taxi) round town. This option has pros and cons. It will not take you three hours to get from Pasar Minggu to Palmerah, your vehicle will not get touched and the air conditioning is environmentally friendly. Unfortunately, the fumes from the stationary vehicles are not so delectable and it is easier for people to punch you, rather than your vehicle. The easiest way to prevent the latter is to take a camera with you and you will be treated with more respect than Rhoma Irama or any other popular entertainer. Film is optional.
7. Cast your aloofness aside and join in with the nation's fiesta of democracy. Don't hold back. Hire a truck, decorate it in the color of the day, invite all and sundry to climb on board and get stuck into the center of the procession. The safety-in- numbers philosophy seems to hold a lot of water and so you should not get beaten up or busted by the riot police.
The major drawback is that you will probably have to listen to a speech or five. However, discussion of the issues is banned so you will have the opportunity to listen to Indonesian political fairy tales. The speeches also rarely go on for more than half an hour so you won't have wasted any significant amount of time in the interests of keeping your Rp 400 million vehicle safe and sound.
9. Use someone else's car and don't worry about it at all.