'This is who I am -- I have nothing to hide'

Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

In the local fashion world, designer Oscar Lawalata is something of a prodigy. Only 24, he already has three clothing lines (Oscar Lawalata, Oscar Oscar and Oscar Oscar Couture) and a division for uniform design to his name.

"It's a really good business, you know, designing uniforms," laughed Oscar, who made his breakthrough when he finished second at an international designing competition in Singapore in 1999.

He has also crossed over into the realm of the celebrity, becoming known for his stunning, androgynous look. Tall and lithe, with long thick hair and a beautiful face, he occasionally does modeling.

Despite his mature and poised appearance, Oscar is still a kid at heart. During an interview touching on his life's shining moments he laughed a lot and constantly rocked on his chair, almost falling off once at his boutique in Kebayoran Baru, South Jakarta.

If you had the choice, what would you be doing now?

(pause) Hmm, what would it be? (laughs) Maybe traveling to places I've never been to, like the United States and Europe.

What makes you tick?

Work, basically. To think of different things to do every day.

Which trait do you most like about yourself? I'm a very open person. And I don't pretend to be what I'm not -- this is who I am, nothing to hide.

And deplore?

My moodiness. Sometimes I can be very talkative, but other times I'm very quiet. My mom (actress Reggie Lawalata) told me that it's not good, but I just can't change that. It's difficult (laughs).

Whom do you admire?

Definitely my mom. Back in junior high school we were told to be grateful to our mothers, and I was like "OK, whatever". But as I grew up, I realized how great my mother is. How she survived as single parent to raise me and my brother (model Mario Lawalata), while she was, like, nobody and came from a very regular family. She's just great.

What makes you angry?

I'm an impatient person. I hate it when people take things for granted and like to consider things easy. Like if we promised to meet and they canceled it but didn't bother to give me a call or anything and kept me waiting for them. It's OK if they cancel it but at least tell me!

When was the last time you were angry?

I get angry easily, you know (laughs). I'm such a sensitive person (laughs).

What characteristics do you dislike in others?

I don't like it when people shut themselves off and keep others at arm's length. You know, like when we talk with people and then they give out signs that "this is how far we can get".

What makes life worth living?

Nothing. I tend to see that we're already here in this world so just try to make it as enjoyable as possible. I'd even prefer not being born at all because I think it'd be safer and ... it's just better that way (laughs). But since we're here, just enjoy it.

Where is your favorite hangout?

Wwwok! in Kemang (South Jakarta). The food's nice, the atmosphere is relaxing ...

What is the cost of popularity?

Having people tell us what to do or being labeled. I mean, we're just regular people.

Do you think what you do in your profession is overshadowed by your being a celebrity?

Well, it's people who make me a celebrity. I just do what I like to do. Sometimes I worry what people say, like when I went out on the runway of Carmanita's show recently. But then I said, "oh, what the heck" and did it.

No offense, but you're pretty. I mean, sometimes I feel a little bit intimidated myself because you're prettier than me. Does that bother you?

No. I don't think about it. Besides, ever since I was a little kid I got picked on and mocked a lot because of that. But I don't know if it's my character or the way I was brought up, it didn't make me lose my self-esteem. On the contrary, I fought for it more. This is who I am, so what?

I was brought up being told that if you think you're right then go for it. But if you're doing something wrong, apologize. My being like this, it doesn't do people any harm, so why bother? Back in high school, if a group rejected me, I just went and formed my own crowd. If my peers talked about how weird I was, I just showed them that I wasn't as weird as they thought. I was probably an even better person. Turned out they approached me and my crowd.

What about the stereotype of fashion people being gay and effeminate?

Well, I mean we're indeed different and we automatically become one group. Once we had a long talk about it, is it us or them who's weird? (laughs). And we came to the conclusion that we were given talent, so we're more eccentric.

But it has nothing to do with being gay. It's not typically us. Gay people are everywhere. We're just more open and more expressive. My crowd consists of everyone. It's just that our way of thinking is different. But it's an interesting thing, you know. I'm also very curious about it. I think I want to write something about it someday.

What will you be doing say, 20 years from now?

I'm not like that. I don't do the long-term planning thing. I just do the best and think about tomorrow. There are many things that I want to do, though, like painting and making sculpture.

How would you like to be remembered?

Just as Oscar the person. Oscar the weirdo, maybe? Whatever people like (laughs).

If the world were going to end in 24 hours, what would you do?

Go to church! (laughs) Gather my family and then go to the church, that's the right thing to do.

Are you a regular church-goer?

Yes, I go there every Sunday. I just feel more balanced that way. Afterwards, I always feel more at peace. Sometimes I don't listen to what the priest says, I just play with my nails (laughs). But I think we're not going to church to merely listen to the sermon. It's just that it's God's house and by visiting it, we have a more personal and closer relationship with Him.