'There is no need to feel inferior'

Fashion industry insiders are always quick to name Okky Asokawati as one of the country's first professional models. The daughter of a policeman not only had the looks to rise to the top of her profession, but also the brains to earn a degree in psychology from the University of Indonesia. Now 40, married to photographer Firman Ichsan and the mother of a daughter, she runs a modeling and entertainment agency called QQ. She talked to The Jakarta Post's Bruce Emond about the important things in life.

If you had the choice, what would you be doing right now?

Not working but getting royalties, getting money all the time. It would allow me to stay with my child.

Which trait do you most like about yourself?

I'm focused, with results. And I'm also a very teachable person. A lot of people don't want to be seen like that because they think it shows they have low self-esteem.

And dislike?

Sometimes I'm not very patient, and it can work against me. For instance, if I'm teaching some of the models, and they just cannot get what I mean, then I get upset. It's not their fault -- they're learning. I know I need to be more patient, but I also know that I have to teach them that we have to pay a high price for success. If I was overly patient, there would be no challenge for them.

Whom do you admire?

My mother and my father. My mother was a very tough lady, a hard worker. She didn't have a very high formal education but she liked to read, and she could talk on any topic. I learned from her that you shouldn't just put your head on your spouse's shoulders. She is 70 now.

My father, who died last year, had great vision. When I was about 11 I told him that I wanted to be famous, that I wanted to have my face on all the magazines. And he told me that I could. He provided the fertilizer for me to cultivate my dreams.

What clothes do you like to wear?

Ones which are elegant, sexy. And commanding sometimes.

Do you believe in God?

Oh yes, of course.

What was the last book you read?

Awakening the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. I like books about self-motivation and leadership.

What makes you angry?

When things happen which are not what I wish.

What characteristics do you dislike in others?

When people are lelet (lethargic). You can see it in the way they move -- the lack of confidence, the insecurity.

What three things would you take with you to a desert island?

Books, my daughter and my Islamic prayer attire.

What makes you laugh?

When I look at myself doing something really foolish. And when I see the models succeed, I laugh from pride.

And cry?

If I think about my parents, and when my daughter is ill.

What makes you embarrassed?

When someone young, under 30, is attracted to me, and I smile and there are all these crow's feet under my eyes!

What would you change about your appearance?

Nothing.

What makes life worth living?

My daughter and the process of self-actualization.

Do you have a favorite song?

There is no specific one. I like easy listening music.

Do you have a favorite movie?

There isn't one that immediately comes to mind.

Which famous person, living or dead, do you admire?

Grace Kelly, because she was so elegant.

Do you worry about your weight?

A little bit now. When I was modeling I could eat what I wanted probably because I was always on the move, always doing something. The metabolism slows down as you get older, so now I don't eat dinner for two nights in a row, then have dinner the next night, and so on.

What is your favorite food?

Escargot. I love escargot.

Have you had or would you ever consider plastic surgery?

Maybe, if I feel I need it. Especially a face-lift.

Are we alone in the Universe?

No, we're not. At the very least there is God.

What do you know now that you wish you had known at 21?

That there is no need to feel inferior.

Is there anything you regret about your life?

No, not at all.

If you had to choose, which is better: to be beautiful and stupid, or ugly but intelligent?

That's difficult to say because sometimes smart girls are very intimidating to men and they are a bit arrogant as well. Of course, men will always choose pretty girls, even if they're dumb. But it's best to be charming and make everybody else feel a bit superior ...

What are the qualities of a good friend?

Somebody who is a good listener and doesn't try to dominate the conversation. And they give advice when asked -- sometimes we only want to have a release, we don't need their opinion.

How would you like to be remembered?

As someone who gave inspiration to many others. I mean, positive inspiration.