The thrill of driving in Jakarta ...

By Myra Sidharta

JAKARTA (JP): My friend Dolly, who came to live in Jakarta a few months ago, proudly showed me her new Indonesian driver's license.

"I have driven only once, only making left turns, I haven't tried the right turns yet. But I am so happy, now I don't have to use a driver," she said excitedly.

"Chuck is going to buy me a small car and has given me a road map, so I will have no difficulties moving around," she added, as if she now had everything under control.

I smiled on hearing her excitement. The fun had just begun for her, I thought. She doesn't know what she is in for. People say that the traffic in a country reflects the people's mentality. Not so in Indonesia.

"Indonesians are the nicest people in the world, but behind the steering wheel they instantly turn into the wildest of animals," wrote the late father M.A.W. Brouwer, a well-known columnist in many Indonesian newspapers.

Anyone living in Jakarta will agree with him. International traffic rules do not apply in Indonesia, and drivers abide by only one rule: "The survival of the fittest".

To survive in the jungle when you are so small is difficult. There are so many "panthers" on the road, once in while a "jaguar" even appears.

I had a frightening experience driving on the toll road when a "monster" with lots of tires drove past. I did not see the truck, just the tires, and I was frightened to death that he might suck me in. There was so much energy and ugly noise coming from the numerous tires that kept turning and turning. Another time I saw an overturned truck that had scattered its load of hundreds of iron bars across the highway. What if I had been next to him when it happened?

Before Dolly ventures into the big world of Indonesian traffic, where cars, motorbikes, buses, bemos and bajaj roam, I would like to give her some good advice. She must remember though, that these tips only apply in Indonesia, elsewhere she will get a ticket for doing the same things.

If she builds up the courage to make a right turn, she should know not to get in the right lane, where people normally go. Dolly should head for the left lane, if possible the left-most lane, to overtake all the cars and then squeeze in among the cars and try to get back to the middle lane. If she thinks this method is outrageous, I should tell her that it is the art of squeezing that makes one a good driver. Squeeze into any lane, as long as your indicator is on, the drivers behind you will slow down because they don't want to dent their precious automobiles. There is no compulsive insurance for cars here, therefore people are more careful. Giving way is not only a form of politeness, but also trying to save your own skin. Dolly should not only know Jakarta's road map by heart, but she should also find out about Jalan Tikus or the rat's trails. These are the small roads, probably not seen on the road maps, but drivers take them to avoid traffic jams and traffic lights. It is a way to get to your place faster. But sometimes you get trapped in the narrow roads, because if one car blocks the road, you are left to wait until he gets out. Yet it is exciting to try them, because you pass the kampongs where everybody is friendly and usually the kids say hello and wave to drivers.

Sometimes driving is not as problematic as parking. In big office buildings, the best places are reserved for the executives, who seldom come to the office, but their places have to remain empty in case they come. Visitors must be prepared to park far away from the building. In most high-rise buildings they get the lowest basements or the highest floors.

If Dolly is lucky enough to find a place, she should open her window to be able to hear the parking attendant's directions. Of course she knows Kiri (left) and Kanan (right), and their Oop-oop sounds, so commanding that she understands it is time to stop. But she may get puzzled when she hears Ateret! That is the Indonesian pronunciation of Achteruit, a Dutch word, which means "reverse".

It may be good for Dolly to learn a little Dutch before she ventures onto the road. Many car-parts are in Dutch here, just like household items are in Portuguese and business terms are in Chinese. She may not find it difficult to understand what a karburator is or the sen, which is the indicator, of course. Bensin is gas and ban is tire, whereas a veleg (velg) is the wheel-rim. But we speak of aki for accu, which is the battery and would Dolly know what the kenalpot is? Well, the meaning is very difficult: the pot that makes explosive sounds -- the exhaust pipe. Very proper, isn't it? And in case her brakes don't work, saying "Remnya blong" is all the mechanic will understand.