The parents' role in child development

By Donya Betancourt

SANUR, Bali (JP): Every child is different, as is every parent, and this will affect their rate of development.

There are two primary types of development: mental and motor. Mental development is cognitive (intellectual), emotional and language development. Motor development is divided into gross motor skills (using the big muscles to sit and walk) and fine motor development (using small muscles, such as for picking up a raisin or holding a pencil).

A child's development is a continuous process; there are changes happening most of the time. Development usually follows a genetic sequence, which means that every human has the same sequences in motor development. Typically, babies start with controlling the head and neck, then rolling over, sitting, crawling and finally standing and walking.

There are different developmental rates for different parts of the body. For example, the brain rapidly develops in the first four years and genital organs grow faster after the child reaches nine years of age. All individual children are different and have their own speed of development. That means each child has his or her own characteristics, such as being slow or fast to talk. Some children are faster or slower than others and that is why there is an average.

Development relates to brain maturation and is predictable because there is a specific direction or pattern for growth and it usually starts at the head and ends at the toe; for example, newborns can control their necks before walking.

There have been many studies to figure out the average by using the time that most children develop, such as to sit or stand. There are charts that are used as a guide for development. When you look at a developmental timetable and your baby is more than four months to six months late, you know there is a reason for concern and that it is time to make a visit to the doctor for an examination. What is most important is that the child's general pattern is progressing.

Parents should be aware that there is no evidence that trying to teach a child to walk, talk or sit earlier than they are ready has any benefit. Instead, it can cause frustration between you and your child.

The infant's individual temperament is important in his or her development. Most professionals and parents believe that babies are born with very different and unique personalities. Temperament is an individual's personal pattern for uniquely thinking, feeling and acting in response to the world. Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas identified nine specific characters that categorize temperament styles:

1. the amount of movement the child has (activity level)

2. predictable sleeping and eating patterns (rhythmicity)

3. how distractible they are (distractibility)

4. how intensely they express their emotions (intensity)

5. if they have a positive or negative mood (mood)

6. are they especially sensitive to touch, sound, taste, light or temperature (threshold)

7. are they shy or outgoing around strangers (approach or withdrawal)

8. can they easily adapt to a new situation (adaptability)

9. do they persist or finish whatever task is at hand (attention span and persistence).

Using these guidelines, three major types of temperament style are identified. "The Difficult Child" is described as irregular, predominately in a negative mood, slow to adapt and withdraws in new situations. These children require great patience and tolerance from parents.

"The Easy Child", is predictable, has a positive mood, is energetic and quickly adapts.

"The Slow-to-Warm-Up Child" is a mildly difficult child, demonstrates mild withdrawal in new situations and is mildly slow to adapt. As children get older, temperament difference becomes clearer. As a parent you cannot order what you want but you can accept what you get just as a baby cannot choose what kind of parents he or she gets.

Understanding your child's temperament is extremely important. For example, if the child is outgoing and active and lives with parents who find the activity annoying and dangerous, and always saying "behave" or "sit still", the child may grow up feeling that he or she is "bad". Another set of parents with the same type of child may see the behavior as completely different: They might be proud and provide lots of opportunities for the child to explore and run, and the child will grow up with a positive sense of self.

This is called "goodness of fit", and reflects the ability of an infant and parent to communicate and interact effectively with one another. Parents who provide a good fit with their child's temperament usually understand and accept their child for who he or she is. They do not try to force their child to be something other than what he or she is. Because of this understanding, when there are behavioral problems, they use their strong parental skills to gently handle their child and not destroy the child's self-esteem.

The important thing is to raise your child with positive ideas, and strong values such as honesty, kindness, responsibility, acceptance and tolerance. As parents we cannot force our children to be anything, but if we teach them good values through our own example of living, they will grow up to help others and themselves.

Donya Betancourt is a pediatrician based in Sanur, Bali. If you have questions, contact her at drdonya@hotmail.com or features@thejakartapost.com.