The fame and foibles of euphemisms

By G.S. Edwin

JAKARTA (JP): A euphemism is a device to mildly express something disagreeable. Instead of saying Ms. A. has gone to the latrine, one will say Ms. A. has gone to the powder room. With social intercourse and cultural progress on the ascent, euphemisms have grown into an artful literary convenience and their use has become pervasive. Euphemisms are used by one and all, including the high and mighty.

Many countries have consciously or unconsciously popularized euphemisms. Americans are friendly and cordial types. However, in a bad world these traits need to be counterbalanced some way. So, if you stretch your conversation with an American, mistaking his friendliness for interest, every other word coming from him is "great". Would not "great" mean he is riveted? No, he is not. It is a euphemism. "Stop talking; let me go".

The Brits do it in a slightly different way. When you hear a Brit says "jolly good", don't be carried away. He has employed a colorful euphemism. "Beat it bum. Don't you know I am too polite to look at my watch or sigh audibly."

Indonesia is steeped in euphemisms, a testimony to what another authority has said. "Euphemisms are embedded so deeply that few of us, even those who pride themselves on being plain spoken, ever get through a day without using them". So, next time you hear an Indonesian say "bisa", pay attention and don't take it as the end of the matter. Bisa many a times means the opposite. "Not possible Pak, but I do not know how to tell you so".

It is not fair to leave out India, a big country, full of ancient religion and modern politics. A product of this ethos is, "God-man." Be assured, it is not good-man misspelled. It is a euphemism for a political broker, who practices voodoo, markets it as Godly, and charges a large fee to bamboozle crass politicians to catapult his small-time clients to big-time cronies.

Another place, where every word spoken is an euphemism, is the office, especially words spoken by the boss. One day he looks at you quizzically and says "Why you look smashing". It is a two-way euphemism. You put a comma after why and add an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence, and it becomes a bribe: He is softening you before sending you on a mission impossible. Without the comma, but with a question mark at the end, it becomes a stricture: You are over-dressed or over-spruce, both beyond call.

Then the boss asks: "What about lunch?". Do you think it is an invitation? Probably, but quite possibly it is a velvety euphemism: Time you take a walk. Right?

Straight talk and politics are not comfortable bedfellows. So the political world is euphemism-ridden. However, politics offers something unique, a euphemism cluster: "constructive engagement", "critical dialog", "change through trade". Those who use them say the same thing: We shall make hay while the sun shines.

Then, it is not uncommon for countries to live with a political dispute which both sides do not want to resolve or allow to die. How do they do it? They "negotiate", a euphemism for keep talking until the horizon is reached or hell freezes over.

The economic world has its own galaxy of super-euphemisms. "Privatization" is a word we hear often, seemingly sounding like a penance. Is it so?. No way. It has been described as a euphemism, for a blatant transfer of shares of public companies to family and friends.

Another word making its merry rounds is "borderless world". Is it something so new and that is why it is on everyone's lips?. Not at all. Indeed, it is a euphemism that powerfully stirs up nostalgia -- memories of Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Timur the Lame, Vasco da Gama and Robert Clive -- and revives the urge to complete the work left unfinished by them.

Then there is "free trade". It has more truants than adherents because trade carried on in national interest, if it is free, a coincidence or its reasons are fortuitous. That makes free-trade a euphemism. In its name, countries make one-up attempts to camouflage restrictions and secure a one-way flow of wealth.

Then, businesspeople have an insatiable thirst for "line of credit". What is it? It is a euphemism alright and a juicy one too: License to use other people's money.

"Market forces". Many may not agree that it is a euphemism, but it is. Every one will be shaken if, "Man lives on bread alone; and mankind is doomed to be consumed by consumerism", is proclaimed as gospel. But, say "market forces" and every one rallies and hails it as a savior.

Euphemisms are not altogether dreary and dry and can even have a romantic side. You had a long day in the office. Later in the evening, the wife, shedding the wifely modesty and with dance in her footsteps, turns vivacious and coyly asks in a whisper, "Are you tired, dear?" Would you tell her your office woes? Wake up. "Are you tired, dear" is an exquisite euphemism, replete with promise of romance and elixir. So, before the magic disappears, shake off the fast-lane hangover and plunge into the delightful travails of the slow lane.

Euphemisms with their limitless user elasticity are so present that they have become a part of life for better or worse. So watch out and keep clear of them, if you can't get ahead of them.