The comedy of errors of life in Jakarta

Longtime Jakarta residents have learned to laugh at life.

They have to: It's a case of making a joke about the assorted irregularities that are so commonplace in this teeming capital, or else they end up crying at the state of things.

We find ourselves gingerly stepping over vendors on the sidewalk, despite regulations prohibiting anybody from occupying the space.

And we have to take it in our stride that those vendors pay off certain unscrupulous city officials to keep their spots.

"I have a receipt signed by an official," a sidewalk vendor told me the other day. I told him that I believed it.

Chaos reigns, including in the warped logic of officials.

We are fed up with the jargon in political statements from officials that the regreening program is a vital step to keep Jakarta fresh. Governor Sutiyoso has led the campaign,Penanaman Sejuta Pohon (planting of one million trees).

But the governor then went against his own plan by cutting down some trees on the median of Jl. Jend. Sudirman to accommodate the statue of Gen. Sudirman, considered the founder of the modern Indonesian Military (TNI).

Putting up the Rp 6.5-billion statue, despite repeated assertions that it was funded by private donations, has proved yet another public relations snafu for the governor.

It's only the most recent example of the comedy of errors that is life in Jakarta.

I remember painter Hardi criticizing the Jakarta administration several years ago for erecting statues in the wrong place -- 27 of them in total, from monuments to the founding fathers, Sukarno and Hatta, to ones in honor of various other famous figures and the country's struggles on the battlefield.

Now, in our already statue-filled city, do we have the space -- or the money -- to erect another 34, as planned by Sutiyoso, when our public services are sadly lacking?

Some days ago, in an article in Kompas daily, arts critic Agus Dermawan T said that the figure of Sudirman does not make for an attractive statue. The placing of the statue on Jl. Jend. Sudirman proved that there is no longer public space for statues, making it seem as though they are trespassers in the small area we have left.

He also said Kuala Lumpur's ASEAN Sculpture Park is a draw for tourists, while our own Taman Suropati, the Central Jakarta park located opposite the U.S. ambassador's residence, has six similar statues that have become sleeping venues for beggars or a resting place for military personnel guarding the nearby residences of local and foreign officials.

All good points, but Agus probably did not know what he was getting into when he discussed how the statues of major cities like Paris, New York, Copenhagen, Florence, Amsterdam and Helsinki all showed proper selection and placement.

Don't go giving city officials ideas, Agus. Now, they will be so intent on brushing up on their knowledge of the arts and humanities they will set off on a tour of all those statue hotspots.

They and their spouses will be crisscrossing the globe in no time, a cozy little junket where they will get to pose with the statue of Nelson in London, the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen and, of course, Michelangelo's David in Florence.

Ah, the stuff that photo album dreams are made of!

That is what happened last month when busway fever swept City Hall, and officials, braving the threat of kidnapping, headed off to Bogota to see how the system works in the Colombian capital.

"If it works in Bogota, it will work in Jakarta," Sutiyoso said, conveniently disregarding the fact that Bogota, with a population about half of Jakarta's 11 million people, is very different to the Indonesian capital.

So, if they do end up going on their grand tour, Agus and the rest of us will have to shrug our shoulders and give a tired laugh at the folly of it all.

But perhaps, we really should be shedding a tear at all the way such money, frittered away on statues and tours, and prettifying our decrepit city, would be put to better use on flood-control projects and buying new fire engines and garbage pickup trucks.

On the other hand, let's save those tears for when the next 34 statues go up.

-- Soeryo Winoto