The apostrophe's malaise

Just what is it about the humble apostrophe or rather the 's that causes so many problems? In Carl Chairul's otherwise sharply written piece for Sunday Post's "By The Way" column we have, "...as soon as they receive their Volvo's." As soon as they receive their Volvo's what? Its (see, no apostrophe required here) door handle? Its key? It's amazing what a pickle this little bit of punctuation causes.

I am reminded of a sticker there used to be on the back of some cars (no apostrophe required) here that read "Menteng F.C. Fan's Club". Who was this lone supporter of what must have been the world's most under-supported football club? Did he take his dog along for company?

The apostrophe s denotes either possession and attribution or elision, a letter missed out as in "It's a lovely day for it". In Carl's above sentence it appears to suggest possession or attribution when none makes any sense. Quite clearly, the writer is simply referring to Volvo cars (as opposed to car's) in the plural. In that case there is no need for an apostrophe!

This plague of misplaced apostrophes--the apostrophe's malaise, if you like -- has, sad to say, spread just about everywhere, and can be found in the UK as much as in Indonesia. It has a name, the grocer's apostrophe and can be seen on many a British shop sign these days. Out with it! And off with their head's, er, heads!!

DAVID JARDINE

Jakarta