Teach toddlers to communicate

Dear Dr. Donya Betancourt,

It's me again. I hope I'm not disturbing you. There is one thing I need to ask and I hope you'll be kind enough to help me out.

It's about my daughter. She's now 2 years old. She's adorably cute and amazingly clever (verbally). My wife and I have no problems since my daughter is quite an obedient kid. But there is one thing that worries the two of us. When my daughter is not happy about something, she'll slap or claw any person close to her. Mostly her cousin (a 3 year old) or her granny is the victim.

I do not really react strongly to her behavior. I've just told her that it's not nice to do what she does, that she'll lose her friends and no one will like her. I also told her that if anyone treats her unkindly, just leave that person and come to daddy or mommy.

But it hasn't worked and she keeps doing it. Then I started pinching her hands every time she does it. She stopped for a while but not long after started doing it again. Do you have any suggestions concerning this?

Thank you very much

Mukti

Dear Mukti,

Your daughter is a 2 year old; she is at a stage where she does not fully understand reasonable talk. Children in this age group also becomes frustrated because they are unable to speak and express themselves. Consequently, they often get physical.

With your daughter (a toddler), you have to stop her from launching physical attacks immediately, pull her out of the situation instantly, show concern for the child who has been hurt and acknowledge the feelings of both parties. Let her know in simple words that she cannot hit or scratch others.

Most importantly, avoid sending the wrong message by punishing her physically instead of staying calm, giving her a hug or holding her hands. Keep her out of play for a few minutes, then put her back in to see how she reacts.

Please let me know how things progress.

Dr. Donya