Take that darn TV set away, please

JAKARTA (JP): In traffic congested Jakarta, why would you ever spend time visiting the house of your relatives or friends? Chances are, you'd like to have a chat with them. Perhaps you'd like to catch up with the latest news about their family. Or perhaps you'd like to exchange gossip concerning your mutual friends and acquaintances.

Too bad. In many homes I've visited in Jakarta, there's usually a domineering third party in the living room: the TV set. It makes its presence known loud and clear. The larger the screen, the more expensive it must be and the more rights it seems to have in the house. Worse, the louder it sounds, the more reasons it has to be left on in the presence of guests.

I dropped by a friend's house one evening to see a mutual friend who was visiting from her home town. We couldn't sit in the living room because his children and his neighbors' children were glued to their video games. These youngsters didn't budge when the owner of the house instructed them to vacate their seats for us. Nowadays, who would condemn such disobedience? So we sat down and talked at the dining table, a part of the household that ought to be the most private for the family.

On the past Idul Fitri, I went to a relative's house to pay homage and wish minal aidin wal'faizin (an Arabic expression which is a prayer that fasting has purified them and Allah bestowed on them His heavenly reward for the month of self denial). That was not the sole purpose of my respectful visit, though. I also thought it was a good opportunity to find out how he was, since I see him only once a year. But there was no chance. The local comedy "Srimulat" was on Indosiar and the TV set was blaring. The distraction was unconquerable. We couldn't have a conversation together so we ended up watching Basuki and Nunung, the group's stars, together with all his other guests and family members.

But the TV set can also be a powerful weapon. If you don't really like your guests, just turn on the TV, assign it the role of a host, and disappear. Still, that's not quite a polished way of saying "get out of my life".

Why do so many people put the TV set in the room where we receive our guests? The problem is basically the same everywhere. TV sets have grown bigger while our houses have become smaller. Finding a suitable place for that huge 28 inch screen is becoming more difficult, especially if you insist on sharing the enjoyment of audiovisual entertainment with your housemaids and your neighbors.

But should the TV really be in the living room? In my small house, the 21 inch Toshiba hangs on the wall of my bedroom. It doesn't take up much space. It does make my bedroom look more like a hospital ward, but that doesn't worry me. At least when the TV tax man comes, I can cordially invite him into the living room and show him I don't own a TV set.

If you can't find a better place for your TV set than your living room, remember that the tube should not be allowed to govern your life. Whatever entertainment it may offer you, remember it's not a great loss. While opportunity never knocks twice, TV programs knock endlessly. If you miss a program because you have guests, remember you're not really missing anything.

The next time you have guests in your living room, please turn off the TV set, especially if you know they have had to brave traffic jams to get to your place. Or, better still, put it away, out of sight and out of mind. Your guests have come to see you, not to watch TV.

-- Zatni Arbi