Some people do choose to say it with flowers
Some people do choose to say it with flowers
By Stevie Emilia
JAKARTA (JP): Do you want to express a heartfelt message to
loved ones, but cannot find the right words? Perhaps the best
way, then, is to say it with flowers.
A bouquet of flowers makes a perfect gift for a wife or
mother. Specially selected flowers can also brighten the day of
an ailing friend, or sweeten up a business relationship.
Noted gynecologist and sex consultant Boyke Dian Nugraha
regularly sends flowers to his wife. He said the practice began
when the two were still in university.
"Until five years into our marriage, we placed flowers at the
place we first met, on my campus, each year. People who saw the
flowers probably wondered where they came from," he laughed.
Although their busy schedules mean the sending of bouquets is
not as regular today, Boyke never forgets to send flowers to his
wife of 15 years on their wedding anniversary or her birthday.
"I order the flowers in Cikini myself. Usually, I ask for red
roses. We both love them. And I ask the florist to create a
special design for her. My wife is very happy if I also give her
a poem that I wrote along with the flowers."
Thanks to the Internet, it is now no longer necessary to make
orders by phone or in person.
The Net can also cut down the time and cost with the sending
of virtual flowers by e-mail.
Salsa restaurant's public relations manager Teges Prita Soraya
said she sometimes received flowers from her Italian husband.
"My husband sends flowers for special occasions, besides the
gifts ... He always sends me roses, but sometimes he also sends
them virtually through e-mails."
Women whose husbands never brought home flowers before would
probably feel suspicious if they suddenly showed up on their
doorstep with a bouquet.
"My husband is not a romantic type who will bring flowers
home. If he did, I would be suspicious. He might do something
wrong," said Tuti, a working mother.
Some people also find they are not comfortable giving flowers
as gifts, preferring items such as food, fruit, cosmetics,
jewelry and leather products.
"I never give flowers to my wife," popular monolog actor Butet
Kartaredjasa said. "It's just not me. I'm not accustomed to such
a thing and I will feel awkward doing so."
He said his gift to his wife since he was a third-year high
school student was perfume, besides attention and kisses for her.
"My wife never asks me to bring her flowers either," said
Butet, who recently took part in a multimedia show, Joko Tingkir.
Wedding
Flowers are usually given on birthdays or anniversaries, or to
cheer up sick friends. Many wedding reception invitations,
however, include a note requesting that guests not bring flowers
or gifts.
The unspoken understanding is that cash will be given.
"I don't care. Sometimes I bring flowers to a wedding
reception although the invitation tells me not to do so. I will
do it mostly if those inviting me are rich people who don't need
anything else. But I follow the request if I think they need cash
more," said noted conductor Addie M.S. of Twilite Orchestra.
He acknowledged that giving cash was more practical.
"I have some presents from my own wedding that until now have
not been opened," said Addie, who married pop singer Memes in
1987.
He does not forget to send flowers, especially her favorite
lilies and chrysanthemums, to his wife. He said she preferred
single colored flower arrangements because she found them more
elegant.
It never crosses his mind to give her jewelry or gems instead.
"I always give her flowers. It's special. As a man, this is
maybe my weakness that I'm different from others who usually give
their loved ones diamond or gold jewelry. Maybe it's because my
wife does not like wearing them. Someday I may wish to give my
wife a diamond, but not now," Addie said.
For some expatriates, giving flowers is nothing unusual.
An expatriate man who did not want to be identified said he
regularly gave flowers to his wife and daughter on special
occasions like birthdays and anniversaries.
"They are a great way to just show someone that you care and
to brighten their day," said the geologist, who added he was a
fan of jasmine.
His wife loves the gift, especially white gladiolli and red
roses.
"She enjoys getting flowers. Indonesia has so many wonderful
flowers and such talented florists making each arrangement a work
of art."
A teacher, Sara Oxley-Furney, loves receiving flowers on her
birthdays and Valentine's Day.
"I used to think I loved the whole idea of the delivery man
driving up and walking toward your front door with a huge
bouquet, but I think actually that we have all bought into the
idea of flowers being a fairly straightforward declaration of
love," the British national said.
"So when someone sends them to you they're not living a
cliche, they are actually saying what they feel about you in
capital letters for all the world to see."
She said the gift of flowers was an excellent choice in many
respects. Expensive gifts, such as jewelry, make the recipient
feel he or she owes something to the sender unless they know each
other well, Oxley-Furney added.
A gift of flowers can be unforgettable, she said, recollecting
two personal experiences.
During her college days she once received an enormous bouquet
on her birthday. She happily assumed it was from a man she had a
crush on.
"I was totally speechless, fortunately, and opened the card to
find out they were from someone else, actually from the then man-
of-my-dreams best friend! Very memorable, for the wrong reasons,"
said the fan of daffodils and sunflowers.
The other memorable experience happened last year, when she
was in Shanghai and received a bouquet from a man, now her
husband, who was in Jakarta.
"At that time, the whole reception desk staff came into my
office followed by the office assistant carrying an enormous
bouquet of lilies," Oxley-Furney said.
"They were pink and white and smelled like heaven. I was
totally amazed. They stayed on my desk for weeks. Then he called
to see if I had got them. I nearly got on a plane right then!"