Sipon: He ain't heavy, he's my husband

Emmy Fitri, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Sipon, now 35, was only a humble factory laborer when she met Wiji Thukul. She led a plain and modest life until she became personally involved and ended up marrying the rebellious poet.

Her concept of an ordinary household and married life all but vanished as she got to know more about her husband, whose real name was Wiji Widodo.

Wiji had to move from one house to another and from one town to another as the military pursued him over a dubious allegation that he was one of the ringleaders of the attacked faction in the July 27, 1996, incident, when a government-backed party faction forcefully took over the Indonesian Democratic Party (PDI) headquarters on Jl. Diponegoro, Central Jakarta. The headquarters were still occupied by loyalists of Megawati Soekarnoputri, now the country's president.

The incident occurred two days after Wiji had attended the declaration of the Democratic People's Party (PRD) in Jakarta. But when the bloody takeover occurred, Wiji and his PRD friends, including party chairman Budiman Sudjatmiko, were already in Surakarta, watching the report on the TV news at Wiji's house.

From that time onward, Sipon and her two children, Fitri Nganti Wani, 13, and Fajar Merah, 8, had to let go of their beloved husband and father. Their memory of Wiji remains of a caring and tender father to his children and a very positive man as a husband.

The last contact made by Wiji with the family was in February 1998 when he promised to go home to celebrate Fajar's birthday.

He has not shown up since. As of today, nobody knows his whereabouts.

Born to a poor family in Surakarta, Central Java, with a becak (pedicab) driver father and housewife mother, Sipon, who did not even finish elementary school, never dreamed of having a glamorous wedding or married life. All she wanted was a conventional life.

"From the beginning, he didn't ask me to become his pacar (steady girlfriend) as when others usually propose to girls," said Sipon as she recalled that sweet moment when she met Wiji.

Both met at a labor theater group. Sipon joined the group with her fellow factory laborers.

They got married in 1988.

"We took a becak to go to the religious affairs office (KUA) to register our marriage. Shortly after our marriage we went to Bandung to meet (painter) Semsar Siahaan, who was being chased by the police and military at that time for participating in a rally against the government," Sipon told The Jakarta Post a day after receiving recently the Yap Thiam Hien award for human rights on behalf of her missing husband.

With Wiji, Sipon grew accustomed to more problems, from financial to security matters. However, her husband, as she recalled, was a sensitive and generous person. He could not bear to see others suffer, even though he might have been in a worse situation himself.

Complex matters, like dealing with the local administration, kelurahan (subdistrict), district officials to local security officials like the police and military, were all commonplace for Sipon.

"My husband once protested against the members of the jury and the committee of Surakarta's district cleaning competition. They did not exercise impartiality as they always gave the award to our Jagalan district," Sipon said enthusiastically.

The neighborhood where Sipon and her family lived was mostly occupied by meat traders who ran a beef trading business -- home industries that were run traditionally, without procedures on how to deal with product waste properly.

Worse still, a textile factory nearby also added to the pollution in the district, with smoke, chemical waste and noise.

The jury of the cleaning competition was reportedly bribed by an offer of kilograms of beef and other meat products like abon (dried meat) and kerecek (crackling made from water buffalo skin).

"Wiji was summoned by Pak Lurah (the subdistrict chief) due to his protest. He had put up posters of Semsar's protest paintings at various locations, which made our neighborhood appear more untidy and far from clean," she said.

Sipon learned a lot from Wiji though. Her eyes were opened to other social problems around her like the polluted environment, low wages, insufficient public facilities and other injustices.

"I once asked him why he got involved in all these causes while he was poor himself. He said only that he was fighting for them because he knew how it felt to be poor and unable to pay for school tuition. But he claimed he had the weapon to fight them all: His poems," Sipon said proudly.

She did not cry any more when reminiscing about her missing husband, probably because Wiji left only "sweet and funny memories" for her.

"Whenever I remember him, I can only recall the funny times we used to have and the fact that Wiji was an easygoing and very humorous person. We were poor but always happy."

She recalled Wiji's strange requests if he was about to go to a discussion with people whom he disliked. Mostly they were what he perceived as lousy local officials or big-mouthed activists.

"He always asked me to cook a lot of ketela (sweet potato) and tempeh. He then ate a lot of it. I never knew the reason why until one day he told me that whenever the people he disliked talked during the discussion Wiji would produce loud kentut (farts)," Sipon recalled.

Wiji and Sipon used to live modestly. Though he wrote a lot of poems, Wiji never sold them. He often took his family for a "trip" on public buses to let his poems be heard by the public.

"As far as our financial circumstances are concerned, for us that's not a problem at all. We're poor; nothing can change that. We're accustomed to what we face," she said.

Sipon now runs a small-scale garment business. She also accepts tailoring orders to support her two children.

Two weeks ago, Sipon and her children marked the fifth year of Wiji's absence. The poet was declared the 10th recipient of the human rights Yap Thiam Hien award.

The entire extended family attended the award ceremony. Wiji's mother Saiyem broke down and cried in anguish during the reception. She could not control her emotions.

"It's the first time she has left the house since Wiji's disappearance. She's always terrified to go out and meet strangers. I told her we were going to Jakarta to attend a relative's wedding," Sipon said.

"If I hadn't, she wouldn't have come. She always cries whenever Wiji's name is mentioned."

Sipon has displayed courage because she has faced challenges and supported her family. She had to shoulder the burden of the loss of her beloved husband but from the recent meeting, she looked as though she was coping admirably.

As a wife, Sipon has only one wish: "... if he's dead, let us know where he's buried so we can at least pay our last respects."