Sinta Nuriyah, a down-to-earth first lady
By Mehru Jaffer
JAKARTA (JP): It was not very long ago when Sinta Nuriyah, 51, was ironing the clothes Abdurrahman Wahid, her husband of almost 30 years and now President of the fourth largest country in the world, had washed.
If there was a need, Abdurrahman also would willingly wash the dishes after his wife had cooked and served their meal.
Nuriyah, a mother of four, often found her husband happily scrubbing the floor while she dusted the house, and when the babies cried she could always depend on him to take care of them so she could get some rest.
To supplement her husband's modest income as a teacher in a Muslim boarding school, Nuriyah helped out by cooking snacks and making ice cream to be sold in the market.
She took care of their girls herself and sewed the family's clothes in order to save money.
It is only because her husband has always been so supportive that Nuriyah was able eventually to earn her master's degree in women's studies from the University of Indonesia. He also has constantly encouraged her to become involved in the most burning social issues of the day, from working with prostitutes to promoting peace in Indonesia.
Although both the President and first lady have come a long way from their humble beginnings, they have brought with them their informal and loving demeanors to the opulent and once mysterious premises of the Presidential Palace.
The gates to the home of the highest executive in the country are literally wide-open now and all those who have business there are seldom stopped from entering the portals of power.
The two uniformed guards outside each gate are mercifully unarmed. The staff is mostly attired in civilian clothes and smiling for a change. The security check is minimal and the cups of tea for guests endless. The first family gathers for a quick lunch together as newly appointed Cabinet ministers walk in and out, looking less like gods and more like human beings.
A peep at the lunch menu shows fried fish with some vegetables and rice, somewhat similar to the food eaten by people outside the gates of the palace. And compared to the simplicity and warmth radiated by the lady of the house, the opulent combination of traditional Javanese and baroque decor inside looks quite out of place.
In fact, there is little that is pretentious about this first lady. She is so down-to-earth, sweet tempered and caring that her husband is said to have been blinded by his love for her. And as the rest of the country gets to know Nuriyah better, many more are expected to fall under her spell as well. Mr. President, you do have a beautiful wife.
Sinta Nuriyah recently sat down and spoke with The Jakarta Post. The following are excerpts from the one-hour interview with the first lady, who preferred to speak in Bahasa Indonesia. "Then I can better express what is in my heart," she said. Nuriyah's second daughter Zannuba "Yenni" Arifah Chafsof, until recently a reporter with the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper, agreed to serve as interpreter for the interview.
Question: How does it feel to be the first lady?
Answer: I am happy that the people chose my husband as their leader. I have always been very proud of him. On the other hand, I feel that it is a great responsibility that has been given to my husband and I am there by his side to share that responsibility with him.
Q: Is this a dream come true for you?
A: I don't ever recall dreaming that one day I would become the first lady of Indonesia. But now that my husband is President, I feel that it is a trust that God has bestowed upon him.
Q: But what is your dream for your own life?
A: My dream has always been to be able to help as many needy people as is humanly possible. There are so many people who are less fortunate than myself and I always keep them upper most in my mind. In that sense, I am happy for myself that now I can use my position to better help people.
Q: What kind of help would you like to extend to people?
A: I would like to see more people better educated. Then I would like to extend every kind of help people asked of me, according to their own needs.
Q: How serious do you think your husband is about women's welfare, considering he dissolved the ministry of women's affairs and moved it to the state minister level, putting an inexperienced young woman in charge of the office?
A: The present state minister of the empowerment of women may be young but she is certainly not inexperienced in her involvement and knowledge of what needs to be done for women here. I have full confidence in minister Khofifah Indar Parawansa and fully support her in her tasks.
Q: How has life changed for you since your husband became President?
A: It has become more hectic. It is exhausting. My personal life is more restricted, but otherwise I am the same person. I still love my husband and my children in the same old way.
Q: What were your personal preoccupations before you became first lady?
A: Apart from social work, I am deeply involved at the moment in interpreting classic Islamic literature and religious texts that explore the role of women in Islam and the kind of relationship that men and women are meant to have with each other. I want to eventually prove that Islam has great respect and love for women.
Q: Islam has such a negative image in the world today: violent, oppressive and backward. Is this your way of correcting its image?
A: My personal feeling is that the Koran is interpreted mostly by men and the role of women in society is interpreted to suit the convenience of certain kinds of men. I am currently reading a book that says in its preface that men are leaders and women are followers, and that even if a woman is endowed with personal wealth she cannot use it without the permission of her lord and master.
I just don't believe in the view that men are superior to women in the eye of God. God did not create women to be slaves to men. Some men have taken certain quotations from the Koran and published them out of context as an alibi to treat women as their inferiors.
Q: According to your research and study, what is the actual economic and social position of women in Islam?
A: Equal to any man. As good or as bad as men depending upon the circumstances.
Q: From the way you dress, you seem to be a conservative. And the way you lead your life, you seem to be a liberal. Which is correct?
A: Just because I cover my head does not mean that I am conservative. I can dress the way I want to. But the important thing is never to underestimate virtues like morality, justice, and humanity. That is important, not covering my head.
Q: You are the mother of four daughters. What was the greatest challenge in raising them?
A: To provide them with the best possible education.
Q: Do you regret not having a son?
A: I never regret it, but when I was pregnant with my fourth child I hoped that it might be a boy. But I am happy to have my Ina. Besides, she is such a tomboy.
Q: What is your message to the women of Indonesia, particularly during these economically difficult times?
A: I would like to appeal to all women to try and keep peace in the country. When there is war, when there are riots, it is women who ultimately suffer. Prevent the men as much as you can from becoming violent and destructive, no matter how difficult the trial is to bear. Educate yourself so that you are economically independent and don't need a man to take care of you.
Q: But what about prostitutes and the homeless. How can they educate themselves?
A: I would say to women... do the lowliest of work, but never beg or prostitute yourself. When evil thoughts come to mind remember that life might end tomorrow, and when the deed is noble continue to do it as if you will live forever.
Q: What lessons do you draw from previous first ladies, particularly what not to do?
A: I do not ever doubt the love that the previous first ladies had for the people of this country. They also did a lot of work, but my style is slightly different. I plan to be far less ceremonial.
Q: Your family has a reputation for opening up your home. Is it too much to hope this tradition will continue?
A: Yes, I will make sure that it continues.
Q: What gives you the strength to face calamities like the destruction of your home more than a decade ago, the car accident you suffered and the ill health of your husband?
A: I learned long ago to just surrender to the will of God. He knows best.
Q: What would you say is the best thing your husband has brought to the presidency?
A: His genuine love for people.
Q: What is the worst trait of the new President of Indonesia?
A: That he does not take care of himself. That other people always come first for him. That he is a workaholic. That he does not help me with household chores anymore. That is why I respect him, but also get angry with him.