Shame hurts war on domestic violence

Shame hurts war on domestic violence

Maria Endah Hulupi, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Nadya always had on a pair of eyeglasses when she went out of
the house. She avoided conversation with people in her Jakarta
neighborhood and on the rare occasions when she spoke, people
could tell from her voice that she was afraid.

One day her neighbors noticed Nadya's brother leaving the
house carrying suitcases. When they asked him what was happening,
he replied that Nadya would never return because she had decided
to live with her parents.

Several days later, however, she was back. To one of her only
close friends in the neighborhood, the 35 year old revealed that
she had left the house because she could not stand the abusive
treatment by her husband. Her parents forbade her from returning
but she went against their wishes because Tanto begged her and
promised that he would never beat her again.

But, inevitably, he did. This time Nadya had to be treated at
a hospital for two days and had several stitches in her mouth and
forehead.

Domestic violence is a common marital problem but abused women
are often left unprotected against the recurring violence.

Efforts to curb the problem are difficult, as most victims are
reluctant to report the abuse to their families or the
authorities due to feelings of shame and fear of reprisals.

Only about 200 cases of domestic violence were reported last
year in Jakarta, but activists say the actual number is many
times higher.

They also believe the incidence of violence in the home has
increased during the economic crisis and political uncertainty.

"Violence is often triggered by disputes and disputes are
often sparked by financial problems," said Gadis Arivia, director
of the Women's Journal Foundation.

Battered, hopeless and afraid, most victims of domestic
violence suffer alone. For many, it's a "family problem".

Psychologist Monty P. Satiadarma explained that victims were
reluctant to seek help because they were afraid of their spouses'
reactions.

"Such a fear is also supported by the fact that law enforcers
are incapable of protecting the victims of such violence," he
said during a recent talk held by the foundation in Jakarta.

Monty added that many victims also refused to recognize the
violence they experienced because they believed they deserved to
be treated that way for "provoking" their husbands.

Denial is also a strategy to spare themselves from
embarrassing perceptions from others that they were the cause of
the failure of their marriage.

Gadis said that in a society where patriarchal values still
prevail, many women still have to submit to their husband's
dominance to avoid conflict.

When abuse does occur, it is often considered acceptable, by
both men and women, instead of trying to sort out problems
through discussion.

Many Indonesians have traditionally believed that domestic
violence only affects uneducated women from poor families, but in
recent years there is increasing recognition that it affects
people of all social groups.

At least one high-ranking official is rumored to be a wife-
beater and there have been eye-opening reports in divorce cases
involving actress Ayu Azhari and singer Nur Afni Oktavia, both of
whom said they were abused.

"Both cases showed that domestic violence transcends economic
and education levels," Gadis said.

Like other women's issues, violence against women is not
considered a top priority and the sad part is that President
Megawati Soekarnoputri has not shown herself to be a champion of
women's rights, rejecting measures such as affirmative action.

"We cannot expect progress if there are not enough people to
fight for women's issues in the highest level. Now, we can only
discuss them in the mass media but this can do little to end the
injustices and violence," Gadis said.

While women's issues such as domestic violence are submerged
under other political and economic priorities, ineffective law
enforcement also discourages abused women from seeking help.

"Any domestic violence reported to the law enforcers will be
classified as domestic disputes," said Gadis.

From this category, efforts to help victims of domestic
violence will be interpreted as interference in other people's
family affairs.

She said that all the police officers, many of whom have been
brought up to believe that the man is king of his home, would do
was to offer assistance to help settle the dispute and then allow
the couple to return home.

"What happens next is very predictable. An abused woman would
receive even harsher treatment from her spouse or partner for her
attempt to file a report against him," Gadis said.

Criminologist with the University of Indonesia Mulyana Kusumah
urged police officers to draw a firm line between family disputes
and the crime of violence.

"Besides, repeated violence cannot and should not be
considered internal (family) affairs. It's a serious problem in
which the abusers need to be punished and the victims need
immediate help," he said.

"But learning from experience, even after such violence is
determined to be a crime, it's rarely tried in the courts and if
it is, the abuser rarely receives sentences which will be a
deterrent."

While underlining the police's incompetence in protecting
victims, Mulyana also highlighted the importance of different
groups in society, including women's organizations, subdistrict
council and people from the neighborhood, in supporting victims
of domestic violence.

"The police have to protect society and if they cannot,
elements of society have to protect its own members," he said.