Sex education needed as shield against pedophiles

JAKARTA (JP): Early sex education and good rapport between parents and children is effective in protecting children from pedophiles, a noted sex therapist said.

Naek L. Tobing, commenting on the findings of eight children's bodies who were believed to be sodomized after being murdered, said both girls and boys must be told explicitly what verbal and physical sexual approaches are like.

"Then you tell them to resist and report to a parent, for instance; usually the children agree to do this," Naek said yesterday.

If the autopsies reveal indications of anal sex and the presence of sperm, the victims most likely had relations with a pedophile, he said.

However, such people are rarely child murderers, he said. Most experienced sexual abuse by male adults during childhood, and always seek children for sexual satisfaction. This is not limited to those seeking out street children, he added.

Educators and other child guardians may have this orientation, Naek said.

"Monitor your children and build a good relationship with them," Naek said.

Children might not resist sexual advances if the pedophile has built up a good rapport with them, he said. Further, uninformed children would not initially differentiate molestation with ordinary caresses by adults.

In time the children may also enjoy being touched and being sexually aroused, Naek said. Street children would be an easy target as they have no guardians, he added.

Earlier, social workers said it takes a long time to explain and make male street children understand the importance of resisting pedophiles, even given the high risk of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. The adults, they said, always provide urgently needed money and affection.

Street boys in Jatinegara, East Jakarta, reportedly pleaded with police not to detain a suspect. Some said they were sad when police harshly interrogated the suspect.

The eight bodies are all boys aged nine to 15. Currently police are picking up more street boys as part of the search for the killer(s).

The East Jakarta Police have detained three men who admitted to having sex with the boys, but denied murdering them.

Naek told The Jakarta Post that if the murderer was a pedophile, "his personality would be partly that of a sadistic person". The sadism would surface in times of great stress, he added.

It is likely such people would be found in areas "with many social problems" such as high unemployment, Naek said.

Early preventive steps are urgent as pedophiles can only be cured with extraordinary willpower on their part, Naek said.

"We also need child protection agencies for abused, neglected children, children who are victims of extortion and those from broken families," Naek said, adding that non-governmental organizations working with street children are a start.

He added that pedophiles live secret lives, and only become known when they seek therapy, "while the child victims will remain silent".

"If the suspects (in the current case) are convicted they will need constant clinical therapy," Naek said, adding he would lend his services if needed.

He added that pedophiles here are harder to cure than in the United States, for example.

"It is impossible for me to involve 'certified surrogate partners' in sexual therapy here like in California," he said.

In a television interview, gay rights advocate Dede R. Oetomo said sex education must teach children to say no to sexual approaches.

He stressed the need to distinguish forced sexual relations with minors, and sex with consent among adults. (anr)