Sex before marriage? Some say yes, others no

JAKARTA (JP): Sex is always a sensitive but interesting topic to talk about, especially when premarital sex is the topic.

For the last couple of years, the number of abortions among unmarried women, specifically teenage girls, has increased, according to surveys by a number of magazines in Jakarta.

This seems to shows that sex before marriage has become less of a taboo and more acceptable.

To seek the validity of the above conclusion, The Jakarta Post interviewed parents, teachers and young people on the subject. The following are excerpts from these interviews:

Susan (not her real name), a fourth semester psychology student of University of Indonesia: Most of the teenagers I know who have practiced premarital sex usually think that they understand the consequences and the responsibilities attached to it, but if they actually do understand, they would not have had sex.

P.S. Dartin, 50, a security guard: When a person reaches the age of 21, I think it is their own business to do whatever they want, including having premarital sex. I do not mind if my children do it after they reach that age because if I try to tell them not to, they would do it anyway and things would be out of control.

E.F. Subakin H.P., 55, a security guard: I do not even allow my children to date before they finish their studies. I think premarital sex is a shameful, risky practice. Although these days, with the help of technology there are more ways to prevent pregnancy, the law of God is stronger, and it is a very sinful thing to do.

David Bounty James Franz, student of the Sam Ratulangi University, Manado: I don't think premarital sex is a good idea because, for me, making love is a very special thing. However, if a couple agrees to do it based on the visualization of their love and togetherness, not for a couple of minutes of fun, or just a tryout, I would think it's all right as long as they can take the responsibility. However, involvement in activities other than sex can be more enjoyable and by doing this young people can avoid premarital sex.

Father Ignatius Hartono, 27, moderator of the Gonzaga high school in South Jakarta: Premarital sex? If the reason behind the act is the inability to resist desire, I can say that we are no different from lower creatures, such as animals. According to the Catholic church, the objectives for having intercourse are to reproduce and to preserve all God's creations. Although, lately, premarital sex has become more accepted in society, I think it abuses social values and norms. If society becomes permissive about this, social values and norms will loosen and end up snapping right off. If this happens, the order of society will become absurd.

Agung, 16, 2nd-grade student of the Gonzaga high school: I think premarital sex is wrong. Can you imagine if an "accident" happened, and the girl gets pregnant? Both the boy and the girl would have to drop out of school. That would be very bad for their future. Anyway, sex before marriage is wrong according to every religion.

Bondan, 3rd-grade student of the Al-Azhar high school: I think premarital sex has become common practice. This has probably happened because our culture has changed. Personally, I do not agree with that. I think it is a sign that we are getting closer to the end of the world, because it has deviated from religion too far. However, for people who have had sex, that's fine with me. (24)