Setting sail for Barbados, a new restaurant in Kemang

JAKARTA (JP): Shiver me timbers, yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum and all that twaddle: it was Saturday night and we were off to Barbados. No, unfortunately, not that sun-soaked West Indian island where the policemen all still wear pith helmets and the ladies all wear bikinis, so they say, but another Barbados, located in the heart of Kemang, Jakarta.

Booooring I can hear you whine. But wait, patience is a virtue, possess it if you can, always in a woman, but never in a man, as my dear sainted mother was always wont to say, or was it never in a woman but always in a man? Hmmm. Anyway, we were off to Barbados, as in Barbados restaurant on Jl. Kemang Raya, which rather enticingly describes itself as the "Island with Extras".

Even that crusty old sea dog Long John Silver himself with his missing eye would have great difficulty in failing to notice this particular eatery-cum-bar-cum-music venue. The facade of the restaurant takes the form of the prow of an enormous, replica pirate galleon, complete with foremast, figurehead and various other nautical accouterments the names of which, unfortunately, yours truly has absolutely no idea.

The theme of the establishment is pirates, corsairs (who tended to frequent the Barbary coast rather than the Caribbean and probably never came within raping, pillaging or even plundering distance of Barbados) and other associated scoundrels.

Upon entering the pirate galleon, we were confronted inside the doorway by a larger-than-life statue of Long John Silver, peering through his spyglass. He looked rather the worse for wear with his eye patch and peg leg, something which greatly attracted the attention of hordes of small children who seemed intent on kicking poor old Long John's good leg until it met the same fate as his formerly lone bad leg.

Luckily, we were rescued by a rather becoming female pirate (whose green pirate outfit appeared to be influenced by the latest trends in the world of leprechaun haute couture), who safely guided us through the throng of screaming tykes to our table.

Upon surveying the surroundings, one could not be but suitably impressed. The restaurant dining area is large and consists of a raised area to the left upon entering, the location of the carvery and soup bar, which look down on an even larger dining area in front of a stage, where live entertainment is staged until 12:30 a.m. on weekends. To the right upon entering is a large, triangular-shaped bar, which was packed by a large crowd of teenage couples on the night we were there.

When reserving my table, I had been asked if I would prefer to dine outdoors in the garden. I promptly rejected this offer given previous experiences of being devoured horrendously by mosquitoes while dining alfresco in Jakarta. However, upon seeing Barbados' poolside garden, which was a mini version of a tropical paradise, I could only rue my decision.

Well, enough about the surroundings, let's get on to the food. Unfortunately, there was not really much to rave about in this department. I was rather ravenous by the time we had settled in at our table and decided to opt for the carvery buffet and soup bar. The buffet went for Rp 90,000 per person and was well stocked, with roast lamb, beef, chicken and beef ribs on offer, plus fried potatoes, red beans, corn-on-the-cob and stir-fried vegetables. All quite delicious but nothing to write home about for all that. The soup bar, costing Rp 22,000 per person, on this particular night was only offering Asian soups, including a hearty and delicious sop buntut (oxtail soup), soto ayam (light chicken soup) and an exceedingly hot and spicy tom yam (Thai seafood soup).

Meanwhile, the other half decided to go a la carte, plumping first for the Barbados Salad Plate (Rp 20,500), which turned out to be large but not particularly Barbadian. In fact, it was just an ordinary salad with green peppers, lettuce and tiny pieces of meat or chicken, or something, and a few bits of olive thrown in for good measure.

For the soup course, she opted for the Caribbean Bean Soup (Rp 15,500), which she promptly pronounced stodgy and unappetizing. However, upon chancing a spoonful, I (perhaps not such a discerning gourmet as my partner), found it to be quite delicious and promptly, if somewhat boorishly, proceeded to devour the entire bowl.

For her entree, my companion selected Bar-B-Q Beef on the Rocks (Rp 33,500), an intriguing dish which bore more than a passing resemblance to a Chinese beef hotplate and which was distinguished by a number of small, shiny, black stones on the platter, which are designed to keep the food hot but which looked for all the world like black olives. I was seriously considering trying to tempt some of Long John's juvenile-but-vociferous attackers with one of the dainty morsels but was restrained by the better half at the last moment.

The meal was washed down with coffee and we left Barbados to face the mean streets of Jakarta again at 10 p.m., just as the band was beginning to crank up. The main thing to be said about Barbados is that the decor is memorable, if not exactly tasteful. As for the food, well, not bad but not great, reasonably good value but certainly not worth walking the plank for. (Bill Blade)