Seeing the world as an exchange student

Joko E.H. Anwar, Contributor, Jakarta

If you ask high school students who are applying for a student exchange program about their motivation, the standard, corny answers about sharing cultures and, gulp, promoting world peace through exchanging ideas will probably come your way.

They are likely to be answers they ripped off the program brochures, and almost a sure bet to make a good impression in their interviews.

Cut through the you-know-what, and it's probable that they were inspired by cool images from movies of life abroad.

"I've always been curious to know what it feels like to live in a country more orderly and cleaner than here," said 16-year- old "Andri", who is applying for a one-year exchange program organized by the American Field Service (AFS) Intercultural Program, which is associated with Bina Antar Budaya in Indonesia.

"My parents can't afford to send me to study in the U.S. so I took a shot applying to AFS," said another applicant, Winda.

AFS, which actually started out in World War I as a volunteer service for young Americans, continues to have as one of its main goals world peace through cultural exchange and understanding. It began in Indonesia in the 1950s; some famous Indonesian alumni include the poet Taufik Ismail and businessman and former minister Tanri Abeng.

For high school students like Winda, coming from a developing country, the destination of choice is an exchange experience in the United States.

Students who are selected to join the AFS program are requested to pay US$5,000 as a "family-pledge" fee, which is still far cheaper than the amount they would have to spend if they studied abroad on their own.

However, candidates from low-income families are allowed to pay as much as they can afford and are given scholarships to cover the shortfall.

Although the selection process is pretty rigorous, including an application and interviews, getting selected is only the beginning. Although their destination may live up to their expectations in its pretty locations, it's not all plain sailing in adapting to a host family and culture clashes.

Organizers of exchange programs hold orientation programs to prepare the students for the basics of what lies ahead, including different cuisine and customs.

After several discussion sessions and singing Leaving on a Jet Plane, the students, brimming with confidence and curiosity, are ready to go.

The real adventure, however, starts when they arrive at the home of their host families, who volunteer to host them during the duration of the program, usually lasting a year.

The first two weeks is the real test for the students as they try to adapt themselves not only to a different culture, but values practiced by their host family.

It's here that some have a rude awakening: Instead of feeling like being a model in a glossy vacation ad, they often become a troubled central character in a very complex drama.

Each student is assigned a counselor, usually a program returnee, to help them with their problems, but ultimately they have to work things out for themselves.

"My host's sister and I fought a lot," said Ayu, an AFS returnee. "Somehow she just didn't like me. Since she didn't like me, the rest of the family also didn't like me. It was pretty ugly."

A returnee recalled his experience of changing host families four times during his stay in the U.S. in the early 1990s.

"The first one didn't work out because the members of the family didn't even get along with each other. I left the second because they kept telling me to do chores around the house as if I were a servant," said Harry.

"My third host family was great but I decided to move to another because I was afraid that things would go sour. I guess I was traumatized by the first two."

An AFS returnee from the U.S., who now resides in Jakarta, experienced similar problems of adjustment.

"Our orientation movie was The Year of Living Dangerously, which left us all kind of shocked and didn't give us too good an impression of Indonesia," Barry said of his experience 17 years ago.

"When I got to my host family, they didn't want me to learn Indonesian because they basically saw me as a live-in English teacher for their kids, and the counselor couldn't do much because she was a student of my host father."

Of course, for all the stories of difficulties, there are just as many of students who fit right in.

"When I was staying in the U.S., some of my friends who were also staying there often called and told me that they were having a hard time. They were sort of jealous because I settled in very smoothly. My host family was great," said Emil, another returnee.

Despite the hard times, most returnees look back on their experience as important to their development.

"I gained huge self-esteem from my stay as an exchange student," said Rizal, another returnee. "I figured that if I could solve everything on my own as a teenager in a foreign country, I think I'd be all right here at home."

"Ultimately, it was a great learning experience for me," said Barry. "I came back to Indonesia, and it really has been my second home."

At the very least, exchange students come back with a better understanding of different cultures. In the end, that lofty agenda of promoting world peace makes some gains.

Link: www.afs.org.