Scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours

Scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours

JAKARTA (JP): I had been driving around the parking ground of
a government building for fifteen minutes, desperately trying to
find a parking space, when my lady-friend pushed the horn and
held up two fingers. To my surprise, it worked magic. An
attendant nodded and ushered my car into a "RESERVED" parking
space.

"How did you do that?" I asked admiringly.

"That's what friends are for," she said, and winked.

"How long have you known each other?" I asked.

"Approximately five minutes."

"What is this, instant friendship?"

"Well, the truth is, we speak the same language," she answered
sweetly. "The horn and two fingers means that I will give him two
thousand rupiah for letting us park in the reserved space."

"Where I come from, what you've done is against the law.
You're committing bribery."

"On our planet, it is called cooperation."

I hated it when she was right. But maybe it was merely the
truth. "Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" seems to be the
way to get things done here.

A most unbelievable experience occurred when I ventured onto
an angkot (minibus). The driver was so reckless that I had to
close my eyes and pray that I would arrive at my destination in
one piece. At an intersection the driver went through the red
light at full speed and stopped abruptly in front of a policeman.

I was ready to hear the policeman bark at the driver and fine
him for what he had done. But it didn't happen. The policeman and
the driver acted like two buddies.

"Next time you do that, I'll seize your driver's license," the
policeman said, feigning anger.

"Don't you dare!" replied the driver as though he was talking
to his own son. He then slipped something into the hand of the
policeman and put his car in gear, muttering: "See you at the
usual place."

"That's what camaraderie is all about," the driver lectured me
when I asked for his explanation on their behavior. "You have to
be streetwise when you are in my position. Otherwise, you'll end
up on the wrong side of the Ciliwung. The key is being friends
with the authorities."

I was speechless. Friendship or camaraderie with a whole new
meaning -- violation. What happened to real friendship?

"It doesn't exist any longer," said my lady-friend. She said
that people do not do anything merely for friendship. Everything
is business.

A few days later, an old friend of ours visited Jakarta. I
insisted that he stay with us and use our car. When he got back
to his hometown, he sent us a note of thanks and a check to cover
the cost of board, lodging and transportation.

I was hurt. How dare he do that to us? We did it for
friendship.

But my lady-friend would not see this as a humiliation. "The
current principle of friendship works both ways. How long has it
been since somebody did you a favor without you having to return
the compliment?" she challenged. I couldn't answer her.

"Your friend is scratching your back," she concluded. With
that, she snatched the check and made a reservation at a resort
hotel, at the week-end rate. "How long has it been since we
stayed in a hotel on a friend's account?"

-- Carl Chairul