Scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours

JAKARTA (JP): I had been driving around the parking ground of a government building for fifteen minutes, desperately trying to find a parking space, when my lady-friend pushed the horn and held up two fingers. To my surprise, it worked magic. An attendant nodded and ushered my car into a "RESERVED" parking space.

"How did you do that?" I asked admiringly.

"That's what friends are for," she said, and winked.

"How long have you known each other?" I asked.

"Approximately five minutes."

"What is this, instant friendship?"

"Well, the truth is, we speak the same language," she answered sweetly. "The horn and two fingers means that I will give him two thousand rupiah for letting us park in the reserved space."

"Where I come from, what you've done is against the law. You're committing bribery."

"On our planet, it is called cooperation."

I hated it when she was right. But maybe it was merely the truth. "Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" seems to be the way to get things done here.

A most unbelievable experience occurred when I ventured onto an angkot (minibus). The driver was so reckless that I had to close my eyes and pray that I would arrive at my destination in one piece. At an intersection the driver went through the red light at full speed and stopped abruptly in front of a policeman.

I was ready to hear the policeman bark at the driver and fine him for what he had done. But it didn't happen. The policeman and the driver acted like two buddies.

"Next time you do that, I'll seize your driver's license," the policeman said, feigning anger.

"Don't you dare!" replied the driver as though he was talking to his own son. He then slipped something into the hand of the policeman and put his car in gear, muttering: "See you at the usual place."

"That's what camaraderie is all about," the driver lectured me when I asked for his explanation on their behavior. "You have to be streetwise when you are in my position. Otherwise, you'll end up on the wrong side of the Ciliwung. The key is being friends with the authorities."

I was speechless. Friendship or camaraderie with a whole new meaning -- violation. What happened to real friendship?

"It doesn't exist any longer," said my lady-friend. She said that people do not do anything merely for friendship. Everything is business.

A few days later, an old friend of ours visited Jakarta. I insisted that he stay with us and use our car. When he got back to his hometown, he sent us a note of thanks and a check to cover the cost of board, lodging and transportation.

I was hurt. How dare he do that to us? We did it for friendship.

But my lady-friend would not see this as a humiliation. "The current principle of friendship works both ways. How long has it been since somebody did you a favor without you having to return the compliment?" she challenged. I couldn't answer her.

"Your friend is scratching your back," she concluded. With that, she snatched the check and made a reservation at a resort hotel, at the week-end rate. "How long has it been since we stayed in a hotel on a friend's account?"

-- Carl Chairul