School children and discipline
I'm responding to the letter Disciplining school children by Belle Sanjaya from Bandung published in The Jakarta Post on Oct. 26.
I'm a 19-year-old student and, no, I don't have children yet. But reading your mean opinion on Etie S Dirapradja's plea for help, I just can't stay silent.
You are so cruel writing that Etie is "the worst mother of all time". Yes she may have committed many mistakes that in the end led to her daughter's absence. And yes maybe she has just humiliated herself by sending that letter, but she simply was asking "to share her thoughts".
Did it pass your mind that maybe she had reasons that aren't our business that made her send the letter in the first place? It's obvious she was scared, and asking for help! You simply just made it worse!
And for Etie, I feel I have no right to give you advice since I don't have a child yet. But if I may, what you need to do I think is talk to your daughter. From reading your letter it seems that you are also afraid to talk to her because maybe she will push you away. You should keep trying to talk to her. With patience and consistency. I think you could crack the hard exterior of your daughter and find out what the problem is. And yes, in the end, the parents are responsible.
And for other parents out there who have had similar problems such as Etie's, you should be more understanding to your children. If they make mistakes, don't get angry and shout at them; simply discuss the problem, let your children talk. Hear them out even if they are emotional and end up shouting and cursing -- be patient and let them let their steam out.
After that, as parents, you should resolve the situation. I am still a teenager and I have strict parents. So, I know what I'm talking about. Parent-children problems occur sometimes just simply because either side won't listen -- and children should listen to their parents when they are talking as well.
As for the school rule that locks students out after 7 a.m., I think it is a excellent way to discipline students. However, if students have a good reason for being late and can prove it, I think they should be let in.
And as for you, Belle Sanjaya from Bandung, you seem like a very strict, dictator-like parent. I hope you don't keep your children in cages!
SETYO HARGIANTO Jakarta