Reward and punishment

I am writing about the column you printed on the front page of your July 31, 1995 The Jakarta Post titled By The Way...What do really we get in life?.

That's right, life is full of threats and punishment, but it is not true to say that it is especially so for Indonesians. The writer, G.A. Koesoemowinoto, says "even as babies they are faced with all kinds of punishment". Then he refers to the famous lullaby about mosquitos biting you, if you don't go to sleep, as having to do with babies facing punishment.

You're right, it is an exaggeration. The whole article is an exaggeration. It may be very well that many Indonesian parents rear their children with a punishment reward system. It is also true, that parents all over the world rear their children in the very same way. Growing up in America, my parents would also tell me that if I didn't finish my dinner I would not receive any ice cream or that I could not watch TV if I didn't finish my homework.

That doesn't mean I am being punished. It simply means that you are not privileged to eat ice cream or watch television if you do not fulfill the responsibilities which have precedence. Additionally, the above kind of discipline is usually for children from the age of two until the point that they can understand that it is necessary for them to eat their food for strength and well being.

So, why in the world would you want to tell, let's say a six year old, that if he doesn't eat he could get sick and eventually die? Maybe that is logical thinking for an adult, but not for a child. I am positive that once children reach a level of understanding that food is necessary for survival, you will not have to use ice cream as a ploy for them to eat their dinner.

It would take a lot more than threats of taking away ice cream and television to permanently make a child go through his entire life believing he will be punished or rewarded for things he does.

Next Mr. Koesoemowinoto says a participant of a management training program including a lot of tiring physical exercises asked, "What do we get from doing all these?" Mr. Koesoemowinoto's response: "Imagine his agony throughout the training as his mind is occupied with the question. He has failed to see the fun of the exercises, not to mention, the physical benefit they offer. It is typical Indonesian to ask that question. I mean, most Indonesians measure everything with what they will get in terms of outside reward or punishment."

Who gives Mr. Koesoemowinoto the authority to generalize about most Indonesians on the basis of the question of one person. Furthermore, he says Indonesians never go the extra mile to improve, to excel or to do their best and will only do what they are paid for and nothing more.

That is a very negative and inaccurate opinion. Since I have lived in Indonesia the last three years, I have never seen people so sincere and hardworking as Indonesians. Yes, it is true a greater percentage of the population is not out to "climb the corporate ladder", but Mr. Koesoemowinoto did you ever think that maybe they are just happy doing what they do and thankful they have enough money to eat. This is a developing country with a very wide range of educational levels. Not everyone can see or even understand the bigger picture of excelling to improve and to do more than is asked of them.

Now you're gone too far to say "And worse, they function properly only when someone's watching their back. This is especially true with civil servants. When a boss is out of town, half of the office will be empty." And you're going too far to say "At school, students do the homework or try to arrive on time to avoid being punished instead of learning how to solve problems, or about discipline." And "At home servants work hard when their employers are round. When their bosses are not home, they adopt a different attitude. They gossip on the phone, spank the kids and steal the food."

You have discussed so many issues in your article; disciplining toddlers, executives, school-age children and household help. And on every account I disagree with you. Especially about the servants. My servant is very hardworking and would never dream of doing the things you said. What goes on in a person's home or office is directly related to the way it is run from the top down.

It is true that all throughout a person's life they face certain consequences for their actions. And, I stress "consequences". That does not mean they are punished and rewarded with everything they do. It simply means that if you act a certain way, you are treated a certain way. There is nothing wrong with that.

"What happens to self-satisfaction, self-esteem or pride?" you asked. It is smashed out by the destructive criticism that you portrayed in your article, Mr. Koesoemowinoto. The picture you painted of your people, is very undeserving.

REBA MAGRUDER

Jakarta