Reluctant to be a father

One day, when participating in a Japanese language proficiency examination, I met a classmate from about eight years ago. When I asked her about her life down under (Australia), she unraveled a story full of tragedy and misery, to which I gave my sympathy.

Miss "D" has a natural talent for the Japanese language and was one of the best students in our class. When she left the course, I lost track of her but knew from hearsay that she went to Australia. She, indeed, has an adventurous spirit.

Eight years ago, she married an Australian and when she was about to give birth to a baby, her husband seemed reluctant to take her to hospital. The baby died on the way to the hospital.

It seemed that D could not forgive her husband for his indifference or his lack of enthusiasm in becoming a father which caused the death of her offspring.

The trauma of having lost her baby followed her in the days afterward, so she decided to divorce her husband. She found another partner, who was, apparently, not young anymore. He already had two children. After two years of marriage "D" had not conceived. One day her husband confessed that he has been sterilized as he was not willing to be burdened by the care of children anymore. It goes without saying that "D" was very much upset by her husband's confession, as she thought of her life ahead. What would her fate be if there was no daughter or son to take care of her when she became old and feeble.

I told her that life could be pretty lonely, especially when we are past 60 and there are no children who will take care of us. She philosophized that it was still possible for her to have children, so long as she did not exceed the age of 40. So she intends to look for a younger husband, who is prepared to father her children. She said that men on the whole (generally speaking) are selfish creatures who do not want to be troubled by the burden of bringing up of their children.

A. DJUANA

Jakarta