Pretty awful: Fake eyelashes don't make the woman

I have always been indifferent about singer-cum-actress Krisdayanti.

Sometimes, I wonder why she goes for that overly made up (some say plastic) look. I also felt sorry for her children when I heard the story that she decided to skip breast-feeding after giving birth in order to get back in shape fast.

Other than that, Ms. KD never really caught my attention, despite her iconic status among some women. That was until recently.

I was waiting to meet a client at his office when I caught a glimpse of a thick hardcover book with Krisdayanti's face on it.

It was her autobiography titled Seribu Satu KD (A Million and One KD). Soon enough, I regretted my decision to browse through it.

Aside from her rags-to-riches story and what a dedicated wife she is despite having a much higher income than her spouse, the book's main message is that women's real power is in their physical appearance.

She brags of how she has always been popular among boys, because she knew how to dress up and look pretty since she was a kid.

There for the offing is a heap of beauty and make-up tips, vying for space with the glut of product placement ads.

So, seize the day, women of Indonesia! Get your derriere over to the slimming center and rid yourself of unwanted fat instantly! Discover the power of fake eyelashes and glitter lipstick! Strive to be pretty at all costs, even if it costs you millions of rupiah!

Krisdayanti told a local newspaper that the main purpose of writing the book was to "stimulate the reading habit among Indonesians".

I would have to respond that, as a self-acknowledged diva with millions of fans who look up to her and hang on her every word of advice, she is being irresponsible by sending false messages to them, especially young women.

It is enough that we women are bombarded with misleading and sometimes misogynistic advertisements, including for skin whitening products, equating all things bright and beautiful with a milky-white skin.

Now, a noted singer is taking us a few steps back in our emancipation by telling us that pretty really is where it's at. Please, don't let Oprah Winfrey get hold of this book.

And do bear in mind, Ms. KD, that there are millions of vulnerable teenage girls out there who might fall prey to the media pressure to conform to the impossible ideal -- yours and that of the media.

In an article in this publication a couple of weeks ago, a 12- year-old girl developed an eating disorder because she felt she was unpretty compared to the svelte models in magazines and on TV.

Instead of eating right and exercising, she skipped meals, eventually becoming unable to study and failing her final exam. She was so weak that she almost could not walk when her parents took her to a psychologist.

Of course, it is great to be pretty and women should appreciate their bodies.

But focusing merely on our appearance and then resorting to unhealthy and destructive ways in order to achieve the "look" are pointless.

Without detracting from Krisdayanti's talent and professionalism as an entertainer, I think a comparison with fellow Indonesian Anggun is in order. The latter revels in her tawny skin, is refreshingly natural in a smattering of makeup but she is a star in Europe, where her vocals have won her a loyal following.

In the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs, the character played by American actress Janeane Garofalo questioned why women have to do so much to get men's attention, but it doesn't work the other way round.

The answer, as the movie's moral tells us, is we don't have to.

A pretty face and great body will sure make it easier for us to get a date on Saturday night, but they will not guarantee great dates, loyal husbands or carefree lives. Looks really are skin-deep, and when the make-up comes off, you have to face it: You are who you are.

-- Helen Wijaya