Poor communication can lead to child suicide

Poor communication can lead to child suicide

Yuli Tri Suwarni, The Jakarta Post, Bandung

The latest child suicide in the country, involving a Bandung
teenage girl, has brought attention back to the disturbing trend
of child suicides, with experts blaming it on declining education
and communication at home, which forces children to come up with
their own solutions to many problems.

Last Friday, fourteen-year-old Fitri Apriani, an eighth grader
at junior high No. 2 in Cipeundeuy, committed suicide by hanging
herself in her house in Babakan Bojong village, Cipeundeuy
district in Bandung regency.

A member of the Indonesian Mental Medical Specialists
Association, Dr. Benny Ardjil, said the declining quality of
education and communication at home put pressure on children, who
are not psychologically prepared with enough life experiences to
tolerate problems.

"A child's mental growth is mainly influenced by the family
and surroundings, so parents have a very crucial role in this,"
Benny, an expert staff at the Cimahi Mental Hospital, said on
Tuesday.

He said quality of education and communication at home had
gradually declined due to unfavorable situations in society, from
ambiguous social values to an adverse economic situations.

"At difficult economic times like now, parents have to work
hard to support their families, trying to fulfill their
children's material needs, thereby neglecting the education of
and communication with their children in the process," Benny
said.

Since schools can never replace parents' roles, he said
children have no one else to turn to or share their feelings with
and tend to hide their problems and resolve them without adequate
mental wisdom.

"Two things that can be done to reduce child suicide rates is
to improve values within the society as well as making
significant changes in the social economy to ensure child
protection is a priority in the family," he said.

When requested for an interview with The Jakarta Post in her
home, located some 50 kilometers southwest of Bandung city on
Tuesday, Fitri's mother, Nunung, 31, refused. "I don't know, I
really don't understand why," said Nunung, who still seemed to be
shocked by the whole thing.

Her husband, Deden, 35, also refused to talk much, only saying
that his eldest daughter from his first wife, who had passed away
a long time ago, had ended her life without breaking the fast.

"It was around 5 p.m. and her mother asked Fitri to warm the
rice cook some mushrooms since it was almost the time to break
the fast. But when her mother entered her room half an hour
later, she found Fitri hanging in the door frame," said the man,
who sells used clothes at Caringin market in Bandung.

Fitri's grandfather, Cawang, 70, was stunned upon hearing the
news since the girl was known as a jovial person, who loved
riding motorcycle and a bright child who was always among the top
ten students in her class. She had hoped to become a policewoman
when she grew up, he added.

Chief of Cipeundeuy police, Chief Brigadier Asep Gunawan, said
Fitri had threatened and even attempted to commit suicide several
times if there was something she was not allowed to do. "Deden
said Fitri was easily offended," Asep added.

When asked whether Fitri could have been disappointed due to
fears that she would not be getting new clothes for Idul Fitri,
Asep, Fitri's uncle, said no.

"She always wore the latest clothes that her father bought in
Bandung. Moreover, she had not nagged them for new ones because
she would definitely have them," said Asep.

Based on preliminary investigations, the police assumed the
girl had ended her life because she was feeling ashamed and
guilty about a motorcycle accident she had earlier on Friday.

Fitri's suicide brought a rising number of child suicide cases
nationwide. In April, two boys -- 17-year-old Bunyamin and 15-
year-old Eko Haryanto, both in Tegal regency, Central Java --
killed themselves. The cause was put down to embarrassment of
their parents' inability to pay for their school fees.

In May, Renaldi Sembiring, 5, in Blora, Central Java, hung
himself after his parents refused to let him go to a birthday
party, and in June, Trisna Aji Lutpian, 7, committed suicide
simply because his savings was less in amount compared to his
elder brother's.