Politeness

Politeness

Like Amy Oravec (On politeness, The Jakarta Post, Oct. 19,
1994), I, too, am an American woman living in Jakarta. I, too, am
sometimes (not "constantly" -- there is a big difference!) stared
at by Indonesians. (Is it my streaked gray hair? My height and
stature? Is my slip showing?). Although this apparent scrutiny
was initially uncomfortable for me, I realized that I also stare
at Indonesians! I am fascinated by the diverse facial
characteristics and rich skin tones. I marvel at the magnificent
heads of usually jet-black hair! The warm, dark eyes often mirror
my own curiosity and interest. I smile a lot, and often I'm
smiling in response to the smile or nodded greeting of an
Indonesian.

As for the oft-repeated "Hello, Mister!" I find it usually is
uttered by a child or a young adult, and I feel pretty sure that
most of them know they are speaking in error. To me, it is simply
a benign, friendly greeting game. I sometimes counter with Pagi,
Ibu! (Good morning, Madam) to a male child, which elicit peals of
delighted laughter. Or, I explain that Saya Mrs., bukan Mister
(I'm a Mrs., not a Mister). And, I smile.

I can honestly say I have never been treated with anything but
courtesy throughout the parts of Indonesia I've visited: Java,
Sumatra, Bali, Lombok, Kalimantan, Pulau Seribu. I am genuinely
saddened by Ms. Oravec experience, and I hopes she encounters
people who can help make her perceptions more positive. I'd be
glad to spend some time with her exploring ways to make her stay
here more enjoyable. (I know some Indonesians who would probably
do the same thing). Perhaps she could drop by ICAC (International
Community Activity Center) on Jl. Kemang Raya and visit the
Newcomers' Center. I think she might meet some very friendly,
caring international people there.

TONI HARDY

Jakarta