People, show others a bit of civility, please

Dewi Santoso, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Three years ago, when I came back after several years in the United States, I didn't understand why most Jakartans were so impatient, so inconsiderate and undisciplined.

It's so unlike in the States, where people patiently line up at every counter in banks, supermarkets, restrooms and even at traffic lights.

Here in this chaotic city, most people try so hard to avoid lining up anywhere, from the bank to restrooms, and even at traffic lights. It's like they firmly believe they are the only ones who are in a hurry, a "me first" principle. Other people and their needs plainly do not exist.

I once went to a cafe in Kemang, South Jakarta, a place where many of the city's well-heeled stop in for a drink. As I drank quite a lot, it was only natural that I finally had to head off to the restroom.

Whereas in the States people stand in one line from the entrance and wait for a stall to open up, here in my beloved country people make individual lines at each stall door. And in my case, there were two lines waiting for two doors, and I lined up in the one on the right side.

When it was my turn at last, a small girl who was lining up for the left door suddenly passed in front of me and went inside, followed by her mother. I couldn't do anything but just stand there, thinking, "What in the world was happening with the girl's mother? Was she visually impaired and couldn't see me?"

Another incident happened when I went to a bookstore at a mall in West Jakarta. The store was very crowded, and I'd stood in line for 15 minutes, when all of a sudden, a girl, probably around 14 years old, cut in front of me, went up to the counter and placed her books there.

I was awe struck. A teenage girl, whom I'm very sure has received a proper education at her school and has been taught manners, including to line up, had pushed in line.

The worst example of this outrageous behavior can be found at traffic lights. In the States, people drive in accordance with the traffic rules -- they stop at each stop sign and traffic light.

Here in this chaotic city, don't even dream of putting up stop signs as everybody drives like crazy and no one cares about traffic lights, let alone stop signs. They go through red lights and can't wait to go when the light turns yellow.

Are drivers here suffering from some kind of red-light phobia? Are they color-blind? Or are there some other reasons?

I think I might have hit on the latter after a man pointed a gun at one of my cousins and screamed, "Give me your purse and cell phone" at a traffic light in Kelapa Gading, North Jakarta.

Compared to the States where traffic lights are safe, here in this frantic city, traffic lights are often used as the hunting ground for thieves pretending to be street singers or vendors. And when the thieves are in action, don't even dare wish that someone will come to your rescue.

After three years back in this stressful city, I somehow think that I have kind of begun to understand what makes the people here behave so violently and recklessly. As much as I love this city, I have to admit that it's the prevailing mentality -- the selfish, inconsiderate and indifferent attitude that people here have been accustomed to, along with the fear of being victimized -- that turns them -- and us -- into savages.