People, show others a bit of civility, please

People, show others a bit of civility, please

Dewi Santoso, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Three years ago, when I came back after several years in the
United States, I didn't understand why most Jakartans were so
impatient, so inconsiderate and undisciplined.

It's so unlike in the States, where people patiently line up
at every counter in banks, supermarkets, restrooms and even at
traffic lights.

Here in this chaotic city, most people try so hard to avoid
lining up anywhere, from the bank to restrooms, and even at
traffic lights. It's like they firmly believe they are the only
ones who are in a hurry, a "me first" principle. Other people and
their needs plainly do not exist.

I once went to a cafe in Kemang, South Jakarta, a place where
many of the city's well-heeled stop in for a drink. As I drank
quite a lot, it was only natural that I finally had to head off
to the restroom.

Whereas in the States people stand in one line from the
entrance and wait for a stall to open up, here in my beloved
country people make individual lines at each stall door. And in
my case, there were two lines waiting for two doors, and I lined
up in the one on the right side.

When it was my turn at last, a small girl who was lining up
for the left door suddenly passed in front of me and went inside,
followed by her mother. I couldn't do anything but just stand
there, thinking, "What in the world was happening with the girl's
mother? Was she visually impaired and couldn't see me?"

Another incident happened when I went to a bookstore at a mall
in West Jakarta. The store was very crowded, and I'd stood in
line for 15 minutes, when all of a sudden, a girl, probably
around 14 years old, cut in front of me, went up to the counter
and placed her books there.

I was awe struck. A teenage girl, whom I'm very sure has
received a proper education at her school and has been taught
manners, including to line up, had pushed in line.

The worst example of this outrageous behavior can be found at
traffic lights. In the States, people drive in accordance with
the traffic rules -- they stop at each stop sign and traffic
light.

Here in this chaotic city, don't even dream of putting up stop
signs as everybody drives like crazy and no one cares about
traffic lights, let alone stop signs. They go through red lights
and can't wait to go when the light turns yellow.

Are drivers here suffering from some kind of red-light phobia?
Are they color-blind? Or are there some other reasons?

I think I might have hit on the latter after a man pointed a
gun at one of my cousins and screamed, "Give me your purse and
cell phone" at a traffic light in Kelapa Gading, North Jakarta.

Compared to the States where traffic lights are safe, here in
this frantic city, traffic lights are often used as the hunting
ground for thieves pretending to be street singers or vendors.
And when the thieves are in action, don't even dare wish that
someone will come to your rescue.

After three years back in this stressful city, I somehow think
that I have kind of begun to understand what makes the people
here behave so violently and recklessly. As much as I love this
city, I have to admit that it's the prevailing mentality -- the
selfish, inconsiderate and indifferent attitude that people here
have been accustomed to, along with the fear of being victimized
-- that turns them -- and us -- into savages.