Parents' attitude causes stress among young children
Parents' attitude causes stress among young children
JAKARTA (JP): "What's your name?"
"Annisa Maria Ulfa."
"How old are you?"
"Six."
"What kindergarten are you from?"
"Lestari."
This question-and-answer session took place between a student
and a teacher during an elementary school admission test at a
private elementary school in East Jakarta.
Annisa answered all questions calmly. She showed no signs of
nerves. She was smiling, even when faced with a tough question.
In the same room, a boy the same age looked nervous. His
fingers kept twirling the end of his shirt. He was slumped over
the table, his chin resting on its edge, his eyes looking into
the teacher's eyes. He tried to concentrate on every question.
Other students were taking similar tests, both oral and
written. The written one included writing, drawing, coloring,
math and Indonesian. Each student was asked similar questions,
including their names, their parents' names, siblings' names,
their addresses and were also asked to read. Some read well,
others stumbled over the words, but quite a few only knew the
alphabet.
Pupils participating in examinations are either quiet,
anxious, indifferent or on the brink of tears. Some pupils cry
during tests. Parents are allowed to accompany their children and
once the children get used to the atmosphere, the parents are
asked to leave the room.
Annisa's parents told her that she should pass the test but
was encouraged to be brave and not to be afraid of making
mistakes.
"The evening before the test I told her to play some video
games, to read some reading passages, to color drawings, to fold
paper into various shapes. The morning of the test we exercised,"
said Annisa's mother.
Andi's parents were different. They told him he had to get a
high mark for his admission, higher than others. He was the
nervous boy mentioned above.
Andi's parents had made him anxious. He carried the burden of
expectation. His parents did not realize that motivating their
child in that way did not help him: it made him lose his
composure.
The principal of a prominent elementary school in Rawamangun,
East Jakarta says that pupils suffer from stress because of their
parents' attitude.
"The parents mean well, but take the wrong approach. They
should not burden their children by ordering them to be number
one. If left alone, children will complete the test well," he
said.
Schools hold admission tests to limit the number of
applicants.
"There's nothing wrong to select pupils with an above average
IQ at the same time. In this manner we can also maintain the
school's reputation for intelligent and disciplined pupils," the
principal explained.
In lesser private schools in Klender, East Jakarta, tests for
elementary school admission are also held. An examiner says that
although his school is not among the better ones, it wants to
improve standards.
"With this test we can gradually attract intelligent pupils
and raise standards. If we admit all pupils, when will we become
a quality school?" he asked.
-- Fitriyanti Djoni