Owning up to an addition is a hard reality to face

JAKARTA (JP): If you ask a person who drinks alcohol if he or she is an "alcoholic" or an "addict", you would most probably get a "don't be ridiculous!" look as an answer, a cold flat "no" or a fit of laughter from the more humorous.

Some people would say they can hold their glass of alcohol or their marijuana joint, thank you, and briskly walk away. There are still many people who believe that everyone can drink moderately and use recreationally, pointing to themselves as examples.

What most people forget is that not everyone is an exact mirror of himself or herself. Not everyone can drink moderately. Some people do have "real" drinking or drug problems to a point where their lives become unmanageable, destroyed by substance abuse. Their home lives, businesses, careers, social lives, physical health and self-esteem ruined as the direct result of their drinking or using.

There is certainly a vast, distinguishable and characteristic difference between a "substance" (alcohol and drugs) user, abuser and addict. This article hopes to clarify these differences.

User

A user is someone who "uses" alcohol and drugs. They do just that. They "use" the alcohol and drugs for fun, recreation and relaxation, as stress and anxiety relievers, and festive, social or special occasions. Their lives do not revolve around the World of Alcohol and Drugs. These people, males and females, rarely get "falling down drunk" or so stoned they cannot stand and function of their own accord. Users rarely have major and on-going problems with substance abuse, or substance abuse issues in their lives. These people are called "social or occasional users".

The lives of the user and his or her family's lives are not victimized, controlled or ruled by alcohol or drugs. As normal people, users occasionally have a problem with alcohol or drugs, yet this is not considered "common" or "typical".

Abusers

Someone who would be considered an "abuser" has problems directly relating to alcohol and drugs in their lives. Problems may occur physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Sometimes problems in all four categories may occur together. Sometimes these people may control their intake of alcohol or drugs, but no one, neither you or the abuser, knows if today they will control the substance, or the substance will control them and problems will arise.

Problems directly related to alcohol and drugs become a reoccurring issue (theme or pattern) in the abuser's life. These people know alcohol and drugs cause them problems, often severe, yet they "choose" to abuse alcohol and drugs in spite of this knowledge. Many people considered abusers start and stop using regularly. They will often stop using when there are problems in their lives, and they are in trouble.

Abusers always promise to stop, to cut down, to have better control of the alcohol and drugs next time. Abusers promise you, themselves, and God; They promise they "will never do that again". Yet, after a period of time -- a week, a month, a couple months -- they have proven to themselves they can stop, or control their drinking, or drug use, and will use once again. And the pattern of "abuse and problems", again directly related to alcohol and drugs, starts all over again.

Abusers "refuse" to entirely stop altogether, once and for all. They cannot imagine life without alcohol and drugs, and their friends. Even when abusers cut down or stop, rarely do they "change friends". Their friends remain the same friends as always. And these friends usually "abuse" alcohol and drugs also. That is the common bond, almost always found with abusers: their friends.

The families of alcohol and drug abusers are generally abused themselves. Families constantly worry about the mood and emotions of the abuser. Attitudes of confusion, anger, frustration, money problems, resentment, guilt and shame, sarcasm, blame and silent scorn, anxiety and stress, sexual problems, fear and repulsion, physical violence and emotional violence are all common factors and situations in the homes of abusers.

Abusers who use alcohol and drugs over an extended period of time often become addicts.

Addicts

If there was no word such as "addiction" there would be no addicts. Addiction is a "disease"; a mental and emotional craving coupled with a physical craving. A simple definition of an addict is one that says: "I can't stop". That definition is also very accurate. Once a person becomes an addict, it is very much like dealing with two different personalities. It is, and they are! Their old normal personality was wonderful, their new addicted personality is horrible.

Alcohol (beer is also alcohol) is extremely addictive! putauw (low-grade heroin) is extremely addictive. shabu-shabu (methamphetamine) is extremely addictive! Cocaine is extremely addictive. Marijuana, nipam, ecstasy, LSD, "magic" mushrooms and other barbiturates, amphetamines and hallucinogens are all drugs that may easily lead someone into "addiction".

Once a person becomes addicted to alcohol or drugs, there is no turning back. The addiction, and the personality of the addiction takes complete and total control of the person. The world of addiction that addicts lives in is a nightmare world. Addicts must use the alcohol or drug. There is, and they have, no other choice.

Addicts often do not use alcohol and drugs every day, or even every other day. Often Addicts only drink or use drugs in the evenings, or on weekends. Or a couple times or nights a month. But once the chemical is ingested, the craving or obsession takes control, and the addict must get high, and higher.

Unlike abusers who still have some control, addicts have no control once the addict begins to use their "drug of choice". The addict, when he or she begins to get high, must get high. Anything else, other than high, is incomplete. If incomplete, for any reason, the addict will finish getting high somewhere else or sometime shortly thereafter.

Addicts are dependent on their drug of choice. Nothing is more important than the drug, the drug must come first. If the addict does not get the drug, the Addict begins to experience the symptoms of chemical withdrawal or "junkie sickness" (sakauw).

Without the drug, life is painful, but with the drug it is tolerable once again. Addicts, or "junkies", cannot tolerate pain for very long. Any pain, boredom, stress, or anger, will propel the addict to seek relief. Relief means using more drugs to make the pain go away.

Addicts will do almost anything to get their drug. The first rule of the street is: "All addicts are liars and thieves; never trust an addict." The addict will lie, steal, cheat and often sell themselves to get the drug. The world of addiction is a nightmare. A nightmare for the addict and anyone close to the addict.

The home life of any addict ranges from bad to hideous, shameful to deplorable, angry to hateful, fearful to violent. And can sometimes be deadly violent. Everyone in the family is severely affected by the behavior, habits and patterns of the addict. Morals and ethics devolve within any addicted household. Anxiety, tension and ill feelings rule the household. No one is "safe" from the addict when they are around. When they are not around, there is always constant worry about where they are. Life in any addicted household is filled constantly with confusion and fear.

This is the real world of addiction, the world the addict, and the world the families of addicts live in. Always! If there is an addict in your house or family, you're in trouble. And addicts always get worse, never better, unless treated.(Joyce/David Djaelani Gordon)