On hypocrisy in sex world

Thank you for publishing my article in the By the way column of The Jakarta Post on Aug. 20, 2000.

However, I was disappointed that you changed the title of the piece which was originally Religious intercourse, anyone?, but upon reading it, I understood why. It seems you had edited out some crucial details in the penultimate paragraph about the young married man who developed a torrid affair with a woman who he "met" via the Internet. The original sentence reads as follows: "A young Islamic man, whose wife wears a jilbab (Islamic headdress), developed a relationship with a Catholic woman via Internet, which they extended to real reality (as opposed to virtual reality) in the form of a torrid sexual affair".

The removal of their religious identities ("Islamic", "jilbab" and "Catholic") while retaining the rest of the story in the last paragraph which mentions "infidel", "heathen", and "using sex to make peace in Ambon", would cause serious confusion for the readers. The reason I used that story as an illustration (nota bene, a true one) is because it encapsulates so many of the things I discuss in my article. The fact they, the young adulterous couple, were of different religions is crucial to the story.

Your decision to edit the piece as you did sadly reflects that we are still unable to discuss these things openly. We live in a plural, multi-ethnic and multi-religious society, and the sooner we reconcile ourselves to this wonderful fact, the better we will be able to resolve the inhibitions, mistrust and fear that prevent us from living together in peace and harmony.

JULIA SURYAKUSUMA

Sawangan, West Java