On being polite

I really sympathize with Ms. Amy Oravec, feeling persecuted by people in Indonesia, because I had the same experience. Or at least I had the same feeling of disgust of the people surrounding me. It was not in Indonesia, but in San Francisco. Being alone in that cold city I saw nobody who looked at me, smiled at me, nodded at me or to at least say "hi" to me. The long throngs of people on Market Street, all tightlipped, all gazing in the distance or looking through one as if one is made of glass, all only concerned about their own survival. It made me cold and lonely inside.

That changed completely when I was home again, going by train to Yogyakarta, talking to a man beside me who asked me my destination, what I did for a living, how many children I had and he, too, looked delighted when I listened to his story about his son working in Surabaya for the Navy, and of his daughter studying in Semarang. While talking he offered me some cookies. When I stepped off the train I felt I had made a friend, a happy human being whom I will never meet again, but both of us had spent happy moments together. I felt one with society, with the world and I was not lonely.

It is a pity when two human souls meet like ships in the night and don't even bother giving each other a signal but just disappear in the dark. I wish someone on Twin Peaks had said: "Hey Mister" to me and asked me where I came from. I would have had a chance to have a friend in the States.

I live in a big house surrounded by houses of small traders, craftsmen and the like, like many neighborhoods in this big village, Jakarta. On my daily morning walks in the kampong, people always stop me and ask, "Are you walking today?" It is obvious that I'm walking, but this sentence means "How are you today?" I answer: "Yes, I have to stretch my old legs" and walk further. Five hundred meters farther someone usually remarks "You are exercising this morning," and I answer: "Yes at my age this is the only thing I can do to keep fit." And the response would be something like: "You look fit for your age," which would cause me to say: Alhamdulilah, meaning thanks to God. Every human being has the need to be recognized as a human being, and both myself and the people who address me get a morning lifting of the spirit with these conversations.

Last month I was walking on Kuta beach in Bali. A group of western tourists approaching me smiled and nodded their heads at me as if they wanted to say: "Do you enjoy this sunshine and the sea breeze too." I, too, smiled at them and thought what friendly, civilized people they were and I wondered from what country they came from.

S. SASTROWARDOYO

Jakarta