Ode to the reform family

JAKARTA (JP): If the whole country reverberated with the seriousness with which the current trend of reformasi (reform) has taken root in our house, then the economic tree would be laden with the fruit of success and we would be approaching the end of the krismon (monetary crisis).

One fine morning, mothers must have boasted from the peaceful haven of their culinary chambers, "Hail to the Almighty! My kingdom is as peaceful as the cool cabbage in the refrigerator" And then along came reformasi and changed all that.

Reform seems to be the order of the day and no one has taken it more seriously than our opportunist kids. What with the newspapers screaming "reform", the daily demonstrations and the words kami mendukung reformasi (we are proreform) still slashed across various shop fronts, it is not surprising that the ubiquitous calls for reform have persevered in sinking into the impressionable minds of our children.

Television, radio and every other medium are issuing the same message in different words everyday.

Ever since Amien Rais raised his right fist and declared "true democracy", the infrastructure of families all over Indonesia underwent innovative mutations and phenomenal alterations. Children have patriotically decided to reform some of the house rules, the foremost one being that: house rules are made to be broken.

Some eat breakfast in bed and main course before dinner. The living room telephones have been transported to the kids' rooms. They possess spare front door keys because -- you guessed right again! -- the curfew for teenagers has been reformed.

"We need to reform to survive the crisis," said our youngest who decided to "reform" to a "simple" lifestyle in a tent in the backyard with only a high-powered music system for company.

And the cherry on the sundae was when the maid decided to join a kitty group, because having an arisan (kitty) was a reformist's way of saving for the many rainy days predicted in future. And hence you can see that if the president is the "Father of Reformation", mothers will be the most eligible candidates for the title "Victims of Reformation."

There is no doubt that reform is a good thing and even Hillary Clinton and Benazir Bhutto could benefit if their husbands decided to reform a little.

I do realize that reform is not only a political word and stands for anything that is formed to be "re" formed for the better, but I am beginning to miss my old lifestyle. For consolation I turned to look at our family vacation photo on the wall but instead of the happy smiles, the Spice Girls grinned cheekily back at me. So old family photos are reformed with more up-to-date posters.

"Give the kids some leeway," said my detached spouse. So I bore it all with a tight smile but within I reacted with the malevolence of a lioness sensing a trespasser in her den.

Where were the days when mothers would say, "because I told you so," and posses the power of a nuclear fissure. Or let the facial muscles give in to the force of gravity and declare a "make life easy for mom day." The kids would finish their vegetables in silence, the husband not say "hmm" to everything you said with his head buried in the newspaper. Even the dog would sit quietly watching television instead of gnawing your Afghan rug.

Today, in true "reformasi spirit" every member of the family has been democratically appointed a "make life easy day." When I realized the fact that for one easy day I have to bear three stressful one, in the light of the ongoing crisis I decided to sacrifice my day too.

"What's happening to our kingdom? What's become of the peaceful, cool cabbage in the refrigerator?" I said in exasperation to my spouse.

"The cabbage has to be cooked some day you know? In other words -- it is being reformed," he wisely while polishing a golf ball to near perfection. And then he started setting out his putting practice mat and golf putter in the living room so as to save on expensive driving range fees. Now that is called "reform" I thought. He spends time at home and gets to play too.

And then I swooped just in time to rescue our crystal flower vase from a wayward golf ball, I knew I had reached the end of my tether.

That weekend when the family walked in from their respective offices and schools, they saw a sign on the front door: "Mother supporting your principle of reform. Gone white-water rafting to detoxify familial stress."

As they rightfully say: "If you cannot beat them -- join 'em."

-- Pavan Kapoor